The Yorkie Werewolf

So at the time of this review, 77 people had rated "The Yorkie Werewolf," but not a single one had written a review. This did not help me decide whether or not it was worth my time, so I'm going to throw in my two cents and maybe it'll encourage others to do the same.

First off, with a title like "The Yorkie Werewolf," I was going into it expecting something stupid, but hopefully funny enough to lift it to appreciative level. Well it was stupid. But I think I chuckled once, maybe twice. Not enough to appreciate it.

Isabella Jaimie plays a spoiled brat who is part witch/part Mafia boss' daughter-the latter part she isn't aware of. One night her Mafia boyfriend tries to get too fresh with her, so she ties him to a stake and murders him as her mother and other witches watch. Now, I'm a little fuzzy on this part, but somehow she gets turned into a part Yorkie/part werewolf-although she looks more like one of those fluffy bear looking things in "Star Wars." (Sorry, I never saw "Star Wars"-I know, I know-but I remember seeing images of short bear things in hoodies.).

She meets up with her friend who is a vampire (bear with me), and the two come up with a plan for him to get a job at the Italian diner that the Mafia owns. Frankly I started fading around this time so I don't know why. Anyway, he gets a job but the wildly over the top boss/Mafioso Big Nick knows he's a vampire and the Yorwolf is captured and suddenly it's the witch again and she's having a pleasant meal with Nick who has lost his insane Italian accent and admits he's her father. This sets up the movie for a showdown between the witches, vampires and Mafia.

Honest to goodness I was starting to play games on my phone midway through, so I'm not clear on a few things. I'm not Italian, but I was wanting to wack these people for their representation of mobsters. But for a low budget film, the acting wasn't too awful. Jaimie did okay but truthfully she was a bit distracting because sometimes she reminded me of a d-grade Reese Witherspoon. The worst actor award goes to-ta da!-Juan Salvati, who played Big Nick. I really don't know what was going on with his changes in accents, but his acting was like a cross between the entire cast of "The Room" and Nick Cage at his most manic. Yes, I get that this is a comedy of sorts, but he's really not a good actor-at least not in this movie. Production quality-wise, it's not as bad as you might expect. The special effects are super cheap; I swear they used crepe paper for intestines.

I really wish the script had made more sense and had been funnier. Or just funny at all. They started off with a promising title, but it just doesn't deliver. And instead of fluffy bear looking Yorkie werewolf, why not use a real dog with makeup? Or instead of a Yorkie, how about a chihuahua? But what they came up with wasn't funny or scary-it was just ridiculous.

Overall, it could've been better. I wish those who had rated this highly had explained their decision making.

Okay, so Yorkie Werewolf is precisely what it sounds like, and honestly, that's the charm. It's cute, fun, a little gore-y, and the kind of no-brainer watch you throw on with snacks and zero expectations... and end up having a blast.

The leading actress? Obsessed. She's got sass and bite and totally owns her scenes, even when she's delivering lines as a tiny, angry werewolf with a glam haircut. (The costume department nailed the Yorkie; it looks just like my little Princess). I was living for the drama teen romance LOL Yes, it's a B-rated horror film. No, it's not trying to win Oscars. But with a title like Yorkie Werewolf, were we really expecting? The logline says it all: "A rebellious teen witch is turned into a tiny werewolf and thrown into the middle of a decades-old war between one small town's creatures of the night - and the local mafia." Yup. It delivers on the promise. Twilight meets An American Werewolf in Paris with a sprinkle of Scooby-Doo chaos and some mafia mustaches for flavor.

If you're here for spine-tingling terror, this ain't it. But this is a vibe if you're chilling with your bestie (or your actual Yorkie. Mine watched too, diva that she is).

Gore Level: 4/10 Jump Scares: 2/10 Acting: 8/10 Cheese Factor: Present (and proud of it) There were moments I genuinely laughed and cringed at a few spots, but not because the acting was bad (it was the kind of cringe that knows it's campy and leans in). If you're into creature features, teen fantasy flicks, or still have Little Shop of Horrors on VHS, you'll get a kick out of this one.