Das Liebesversteck

An artsy fartsy attempt at 'film making' and acting. Unfortunately it is mostly 'fartsy imagery and actors at playtime' wrapped around a thread bare story or rather plot as there really isn't a story to be found.

So here's the deal - four beautifully young people, two girls and two boys, escape to the English countryside to live together in an 'open relationship' type arrangement. There are sure to be bruised ego's and they are too young to realize this. But they get a fair warning from one of the girls ex-boyfriend who shows up to hopefully convince her to leave with him because he can see the dead end to this life style. She doesn't leave. Plus it's interesting that a pudgy ugly guy was cast as the realist while the idealist dreamers are quite lovely to see.

By movies end you will be quite bored with these four shenanigans and touchy feely daily life style. They are pretty to see but the viewer is left with an empty plot and no direction. Then it's over. Pretty much a 'so-what big-deal' flick that will keep you marginally entertained.

The synopsis of this film is that four vulnerable young adults flee London to start an unconventional life in the country and find their very own Utopia. They have not all met before either so this has all the hallmarks of being interesting. Now I can't say any more than that without revealing parts of the plot – needless to say this has a few issues which I will deal with next – but please do not read if you do not want any reveals.

Plot Spoilers ahead

The film explores how they decide to explore this alternative lifestyle and this is basically by having acting and improv workshops as a prelude to a free for all in the bedrooms. They have rules too to underscore that there, effectively, will be no rules. They are also dyed in the wool upper middle class as nothing practical is covered at all. The food seems to magically appear – but they do have a rota for the terribly leaden part of life that is the cooking.

There is a spark of interest when an outsider comes a calling and the apple cart looks like it may be upset, but this is a 'bridge' for a tune that is basically all more of the same.

Now this has received mixed critics reviews – some are very favourable indeed but user reviews tend to be less applauding and I am leaning towards those. There is a lot of nudity here too and simulated sex as well as 'self pleasuring'. If that is meant to be indicative of Utopia – all well and good – but cinematically and even artistically it is as new an idea as having a 'twist' in a thriller – unless of course you are doing 'art house porn'. And we all know that means it is just porn with more subtle lighting and untidy pubic hair.

So all in all a bit of a miss – I did watch the whole thing but was left non plussed by the experience. I could still see a lot to merit here – cinematography for example – and the acting was very good indeed. However, as an ensemble piece it barely passes muster so only go for it if you really are a massive fan of the auteur art house scene and a good bottle of wine to aid your viewing digestion.

Oh dear! What a mess!

There's little storyline to the whole thing. Four twenty somethings drop out and do the fourth way kind of gig on a country farm. Think, let's make a little free love commune, without all the hippy paraphernalia. There's little back story to anyone and not much exposition in general. Quite honestly director and co-writer Joanna Coates doesn't appear to have done the hard yards on this project at all.

Lots of repetition of scenes; lying around the farm yard, pretentious little group concerts and plays (burning cardboard coffins?) and nightly musical beds. Some ex-boyfriend drops in for a bit and then leaves in a huff and it all ends up with an orgy, that drags on for a few minutes, where we don't see much, because it's filmed in such extreme close-up.

Way back in 1969 Paul Mazursky directed a (kind of) similar-themed movie called Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. I never thought it was a particularly good film, though it was a resounding critical and commercial success. It had two big things going for it that Joanna Coates has completely ignored in her making of Hide & Seek. First it had some sort of story happening with its four main characters and second it had a sense of humour and didn't take itself too seriously.

The most interesting thing I can say about Hide and Seek is that Gemma Arterton's (one of my favourites) little sister Hannah, is one of the four "stars", all of whom had very little with which to work. One of them, Daniel Metz can take a certain portion of the blame for that too, as he co-wrote the very thin script with Coates.

"Hide and Seek" is a tale of 4 young adults, who chose to move to the countryside, live in nature, share everything, be perfectly equal and free.

The two boys and two girls find innocent ways of entertaining each other and making the weeks pass, as if they want to reduce life to an infinite melancholic childhood experience.

This concept of pure escapism also involves the protagonists loving each other equally. The movie does not hold back on displaying sex and sexuality and it requires an open mind to appreciate it.

"Hide and Seek" is certainly no commercial entertainment and the narrative as it is makes it feel more like an art project than a fictional movie, but for a first-length feature the director show her talent and the brave performances of the cast are impressive.

OK, I tried mightily to see the "artsy" aspect of this film. However with a lack of (1) a story line, (2) character development, (3) a plot, along with (4) insipid cinematography, there really wasn't much of anything going for it. The setting was 'meh' and the actors' lack of attractiveness (which might have made the supposed concept more plausible) also contributed to the feeling that I was being ripped off by watching.The idea of polyamorous relationships or even the nudity on display did not turn me off. I was just left with nothing but questions, not the least of which was, "Why was I wasting my time watching this?" The 'idea' behind the movie was perhaps revolutionary but it didn't seem in the least plausible. No wonder they had trouble finding backers as this wasn't more than a whisper of a film. Just hope the actors kept their day jobs!