Jurassic Shark 3: Seavenge

Jurassic shark 3 jumps the shark with confirmation of the greatest shared universe of all time. Forget the MCU, mark polonias universe is the most entertaining movie universe ever. Jokes aside this movies inclusion of the shark from sharkenstein is a terrible choice. Do not add other terrible movies into the already awful Jurassic shark franchise. And it's not just sharkenstein they are adding into their universe, it's land shark too. Remember how in land shark the shark could go on land? That's probably why that movie sucks. Anyway in this abomination sharkenstein can walk on land, it did that in sharkenstein but it needed a lightning boost. That's probably why that movie sucks too. Also the mad scientist from sharkenstein died in that movie. I guess he's just alive now because we need exposition for a shark that we don't need in this movie but is only here to add runtime. So as you can see this movie sucks and I've only talked about one scene. There are a lot more issues but most of them are the usual mark polonia issues like a terrible plot, cheesy dialogue, bad acting, ugly CGI, cheap puppets, awful music and those same actors from Jurassic shark 2. Despite all these issues it is better than Jurassic sharks 1&2 and other Mark Polonia movies.

Jurassic Shark 3: Seavenge is a 2023 film directed by Mark Polonia. A Bunch of people are stranded out in the ocean and a giant shark prevents them from fully reaching their freedom.

I swear this paining is the main through line in all the films but for the first time we find out what the painting is and that at least is good. The film is mostly held together well but having a full story wide recollection towards the end was a big much and clearly done to pad the run time. Then of course at the end they literally jump the shark and go in an entirely new direction falling apart at the end.

I love the fact that Titus Himmelberger survived into this film. He is great every time I see him on film. Mark Polonia is also quite fun to watch in his role as the camera man. Jada Sanchez is also pretty good at playing the bimboish model Bree was quite surprised at the level of performance. Kyle Rappaport joins the cast as one od the two criminals for the movie and rounds out the three with is antics.

The Fin returns yet again! They stepped up their CG game a little with the shark looking a little better and only utilizing some of the previous CG work from the last film. There was a scene in particular about the shark swimming past a boat that I thought looked pretty good overall. Though not perfect I would say that the production here was better than the other two Jurassic Shark Movies. The shark puppet utilized at the end was entertaining and I think I would rather have had the movie revolve around it instead of come in last minute at the end.

I really like the main theme better in this one than I did Jurassic park 2. It isn't the best theme in the world but does fit the source material well enough.

Thought he film started out as a better one that 1 or 2 the disjointed narrative, padding and strange switch up with he plot drag the film down a pace. I do think if you are a huge Polonia fan you may enjoy it as the gang is all here and doing an ok job and if you liked the first two films in the series you should find the same stuff you enjoy here. For anyone else looking for a good shark film your time may be suited elsewhere.

We put this on trying to find a easy watch for the weekend. I have never seen such a pile of crap in my life. The CGI is like something from the 80s. We're only 5 minutes in and praying for the actors careers. The SFX people are going to hell.

Something actually worse than the Kardashians.

The fire on the boat scene is brilliant, who would release this crap with any self respect?

10 minutes in and praying for the actors who will never act again & struggle to work in burger king. Describing a cheap PC usb camera as a "small underwater camera" is a bit naff.

On a positive note... the film ends.

Anybody involved in this film.... please stop.

With the paintings still missing, a group of thieves trying to locate their missing friends in the area where it supposedly went down commander a news crew in the area to find it, only to come into contact with a monstrous shark prowling the waters and have to find a way to get away alive.

Overall, this was a far better-than-expected entry in the series with a lot to like about it. Among the better aspects on display is the solid and somewhat enjoyable setup that gives this one some decent storylines to tie in with the previous entries. The continuing saga of the thieves looking to recover the stolen paintings that took place in the original serves this well with the group coming into play while looking to find the final resting spot. The secondary storyline involving the reporter trying to balance his job shepherding the ditzy model around the photoshoot while keeping tabs on the outcome of the ruined oil rig in the area that took place in the second entry allows for a solid enough setup for this one. That allows for the film to go all-out on cheesy shark attacks and encounters that are so clumsily handled that they add a charm to the proceedings. With the sequences showing the shark puppet swimming through the ocean attacking swimmers, the drifting boat filled with the group being held hostage, or the gloriously silly attack on the rescue helicopter, there's quite a lot of goofy work to be had here which makes them so fun. That becomes even more apparent in the final half when it introduces a special twist revelation taking this into the realm of another genre effort in the catalog that takes this into even further and goofier situations that provide some hilariously choreographed action and gore to be quite fun. These are enough to make for a fun time here as this one does have some issues that hold it down. As is to be expected in this kind of film, there's no denying how silly and outright shoddy the effects are with the shark effects being the worst offender. Despite reports of its monstrous size, the characters interact with hand-puppets even if they get to interact with a physical prop as the CGI carries some bargain-basement style work here of the immobile creature in its environment changing shape or dimensions whenever the scene calls for it. Coupled with the guerilla-style indie production style here that makes everything look cheaper than it should or making use of locations taken without permission, the constant technical issues, and nonsensical storylines, these should be taken into consideration here since they're expected and not truly detrimental.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language.

Jurassic Shark 3 is a movie that attempts to be a comedy horror, but fails on both counts. The movie is a disaster of bad effects, terrible acting, and nonsensical directing. The story is absurd and implausible, involving sharks that escape from a secret lab and attack people in the sea and a lake. The movie is not funny at all, but rather annoying and boring, especially the reporter at the beginning who is standing by a lake and talking about sharks in the ocean eating people. The movie is a complete waste of time and money, and I do not recommend it to anyone who likes good movies. Jurrasic Shark 3 is one of the worst movies I have ever seen.