Fountain of Youth

I haven't reviewed a movie in half a decade, but I felt a warning was justified in this case. I have had to start and stop this one several times throughout my first and last viewing of this piece of dialogue garbage on Apple TV+.

I went in wanting to like this movie, I'm a huge fan of John Krasinski's work and an even bigger fan of Natalie Portman & her whole repertoire dating back to Leon: The Professional. So expectations were high coming in.

This film is just off in every way. Pacing? Weird. Dialogue? Poorly written, corny and cringe. Acting? Even though the artist have the chops to do so, the writing is so terrible that they do justice to them in a bad way. The acting is laughable from almost every character. Suspense? Predictable and rips off too many mainstream plot lines. Romance? Pathetic attempt, comes off fake. Conflict resolution? I mean, I guess maybe you could say so but the movie is so predictable and corny that you don't even realize that this might be the best part of it because everything else pales in reverse by comparison.

Do yourself a favor and don't waste your time. Huge swing and miss by Apple TV+. This would have bombed at the box office.

If you had seen a movie and a half about adventure and old artifacts in the past, or played a similar video game, you know what this movie is about. In about 10 minutes through, you will figure it out..the plot, the bad guy etc. That is not the problem. We watch these movies time and time again for the fun ride, the amount of historical nonsense they can cram through while keeping that entertaining. Sense be damned.

What kept most of these movies fun, are the charm, the cheese, the quirks here and there, fun characters, great locations and action. Those often overlapped sense, character depth and meaning. This movie does not lack on the visuals and actions, it lacks in the former 3. I don't know. It felt too clean and devoid of pleasantries that attract you toward a popcorn adventure flick. It is just..too linear.

Perhaps they wanted to be different, or maybe they did not want to offend someone. I can't believe a Guy Ritchie movie could ever unfunny specially when it's meant to have comedic elements. Ah well, whatever the reason, it was in fact, a mistake. 6/10 for pretty people and locations.

I've been asking for a new true adventure film since the last National Treasure, but I guess I just wanted it too much, and I got the curse instead of the blessing.

It looks fine, on the surface. Guy Ritchie makes an international hunt for treasure that certainly impresses visually, but in terms of content (and note that Ritchie didn't write this film, when writing is one of his true strengths as a filmmaker) it's as shallow as they come. Some rote puzzles, intermittent fist fights, and an utterly charmless gang of bystanders that follow Krasinski wherever he tells them to go. Stanley Tucci literally just shows up once, for about two minutes total, and you can almost see him just turn around to collect his paycheck at the end of his scene.

Do yourself a favor and go play the new Indiana Jones video game instead. It's so, so much better than this, and was made with true reverence for the art of adventure films.

Fountain of Youth has all the ingredients of a compelling adventure-mystery, ambition, and a supernatural twist-but it never quite comes together. The biggest flaw? A shocking lack of investment in its protagonists. Despite a talented cast, the characters feel thinly written, making it impossible to care about their fates. It's a shame to see otherwise skilled actors reduced to B-material by a script that gives them little to work with.

Visually, the film is competent, and there are moments where the premise sparks intrigue. But without emotional stakes or memorable performances, even the slickest set pieces fall flat. Fountain of Youth isn't unwatchable-it's just disappointingly forgettable.

No, it's not National treasure 3, in fact it doesn't come that near to being as good as the first 2 National Treasure movies.

However I've seen much worse and it was still quiet enjoyable.

For me not enough of the puzzles and riddles from other films of this ilk and a lot left unexplained.

The film does have Guy Ritchie's style and flair all over it and the efforts of all actors are definitely not in question here. I think maybe this film needed a couple more rewrites before going ahead.

On the whole though, if you have 2 hours to spare and nothing to do.....give it a go.

Alternatively wait and hope for "National Treasure 3"