Ignore the poster art. It promises the kind of sexy horror comedy that proliferated back in the vhs era, but delivers on none of the elements. Pacing? It moves like a sloth with a hernia. Suspense? Outside of teasing whether or not a character might actually fall asleep delivering the leaden dialogue, there is none. Scares? The vamp has a habit of popping in out of nowhere, but that's more irksome than frightening. Interesting spin on traditional vampire lore? There is just nothing here that hasn't been done before and better. The characters have little to do or say of interest, so it's hard to become engaged with their actions or care about consequences. A half hour in, I was wondering whether I would mind if in the next scene the zombie apocalypse arrived and ate everyone? Not really.
Vampires are not a fresh cinematic idea. We have had them since F. W. Murnau. In the same way that a book has to sell itself to the reader in chapter one, a movie has about twenty minutes to answer the question why should the viewer care what happens to the characters. And a vampire movie has a tougher job than most, since it's such a familiar genre. But bland, inert, jokeless, unsuspenseful, and free of all gratuitous exploitation content won't get it done. Avoid.
