Higher Mission

My TiVo recorded Downsizing and The Shape Of Water last night, so I watched Ratpocalypse out of Suggestions instead.

This movie falls squarely and fairly into the "So bad it's good" category. The acting and F/X don't suck ... usually and the end contained about 1000x more gravitas than the movie deserved. I'm not sorry I spent 90 minutes of my life on this.

Thumbs up!

Let's cut to the chase. Without a doubt, Ratcopalypse is definitely the worst movie ever made. At first, I thought it might be a hoax, but when I realized that someone actually wrote this, cast it, raised $3 million for the production, and ultimately screened it, I was befuddled, amazed and angry.

There is not a single redeeming quality that this movie can claim...except to set the mark for "Worst Motion Picture of All Time." The classic stinker "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" plays like "Citizen Kane" next to this steaming pile of road apples. To think that $3 million was spent on this bucket of chum, when that money could have been spent on ANYTHING else, is sad and frustrating.

It's too bad that I could not rate this any lower than zero stars, as RatpocqlpseSave yourself the time and aggravation in making your own determination. Or take a personal challenge to sit through this amazing stink fest without leaving, getting angry or taking a baseball bat to your $5,000 TV.

I almost have no words how bad this is. Entertaining? Sure. But so bad you can't really focus on anything but it's flaws. I especially loved one of the escapes by giving the guard a swirlie. All the other cars have American plates while in "Russia". The bad accents that sometimes disappear. Plus, it's painfully predictable. I love Casper van Dien and so expected this type of campiness but even he cannot save this bad writing and failed prop support. The full on rat makeup, though, was pretty awesome (minus digital transition). Cheers to special effects for that portion of the film. This is definitely a drinking game film.

The plot has so many holes the rats must have ate through them and the rest of the bad acting. Ask yourself why you don't see more rats? They must have forgot to pay Visual Effects Artists.

If you make it to the end, the finale is shockingly... well I can't ruin it, but I saw it for free and feel I need to be paid for my time.

Probably a minor thrill for the Oklahomans who worked on it and a paycheck for everyone else. Victoria Summer and Linda Bella are attractive. Casper Van Dien's a fit 50. The story's a mess; the "higher power" and repeated religious references throughout leave one wondering if a church was snookered into financing it ala Ed Wood's Plan 9 from Outer Space. Scenes with un-subtitled Russian dialog go on far longer than one would expect. The movie's end just happens, abruptly, roll credits.

What is the story behind the Russian writing, financing, and making of this movie? A making-of could be enlightening - and, of course, could hardly be worse than the flick itself.