Armee der Frankensteins

I'm not gonna waste your time with the standard review of how laughably bad this movie is, but the costume person should have done a better job with the facial hair, it's the funniest part of the movie.

I went into this movie expecting it to follow so many others that have tried to take this road recently... cheap special effects, poor -everything... but I was pleasantly surprised. While it is obvious that this is a low budget movie most of the choices made were conservative. They didn't overuse cgi, and they didn't have idiots as the main characters. The story was rediculous but the execution was a decent attempt. They even pulled off having a kid as one of the main characters, without having it deter from the main plot. I thought it dragged a little in the third act, but the humor was higher quality than I expected, and the practical effects saved them from being lumped in with those other monster movies being made right now. If you like b-horror, definitely give this one a try!

Within the first few minutes we can see the less stellar caliber of acting and production. Nearly everything is made for ironic purpose, either it's intentional or not. There's so much exaggerated premise and clumsy delivery, it's hard to take the movie seriously and even as parody it can barely register any response, aside from a few chuckles when the film delivers terribly out of place scenes where you can't help but slightly grin.

The plot is a jumbled mix or time travel and a bunch of sci-fi gimmicks, none of these really fascinate. Actors are often cringe-worthy in their performance, although the lead may be funny since he looks adequately like a normal guy. Characters are variety of unsuitable personalities with jarring costume and hairdo, or just simply over the top misinterpretation of the era. Even it plays with historic and scientific backdrop, the film has no accuracy in either aspect. I guess it's a tad optimistic to hope for those.

It will get worse towards latter half, if one can make it pass an hour of characters waddling on a random field and tons of gibberish. The effect is abysmal, literal green screen mess. It has slightly lengthier runtime than most movies but there's really not much it has to offer. You might find some amusement, but it's recommended to invest time elsewhere.

To all these stupid actors and stupid directors, stop doing stupid movies please. Why? Because I don't believe any one will like to watch it. Unless if they are super stupid weird people with weird stupid psychology. A waste of your precious time to watch such a stupid movie. It's a shame that this called movie. I might say it's not a movie it's a begging act. As you will feel it like: please give us some jobs we don't have money Guys why don't you try to be PERFCT? What's wrong with that? If you have no budget for a movie then please don't even try to make one stupid wasted movie. In my opinion you cannot afford every piece of criticism around you. I have no idea why you guys allow yourselves to act such stupid acting, very stupid and out of date , give me a break you shameful fools, any one support this movie should go to hell with the producers, actors and directors

The people who starred in this movie were obviously a troop of civil war reenactment actors. The most expense had to be the false mustaches and beards. These people should never be allowed in a theater or allowed within 50 feet of a camera ever again.

I needed someone to pull my eye out only 20 to 30 minutes into this slop. Can anyone explain why the mad scientist needed a living eyeball to complete his creation? The eyeball was the MacGuffin device! It was the only thing that drove the plot. Honestly, I was very concerned about that eyeball.

Every time someone said "Frankenstein" they acted like they didn't know what that meant. Yet Mary Shelly's novel was published 40 to 50 years prior to this event. Maybe no one had read it? Books were not that popular back then in 1864.

I never knew Frankenstein monsters are lighter than air, since the untethered balloon won't leave the ground until the monster is aboard. For some unknown reason, balloon rides with a former slave, now battlefield nurse, makes it cool you killed all those people because all along you just want to help. But when your Civil War balloon is shot down by World War 2 anti-aircraft fire, you are happy to have a lighter than air Frankenstein around.

The appearance of the video game character Megaman in this movie, was no surprise to me. At this point the drugs the writers were on clearly had taken effect. This reminds me, the writers should not be allowed near paper and pens, especially if the producers returned them to the asylum.

We couldn't end this travesty without yet more insult to history but to the iconic President Lincoln as well. I seem to recall Lincoln was shot after the war. Oh well, it didn't happen in this movie just as Hitler didn't eat a bullet in the bunker for "Inglourious Basterds". Let's make up some more history and have every child in America drooling at the TV.

Yes, there should be war crimes trials... for making this movie.