Star Wars - Episode VIII: Die letzten Jedi

Picking up where The Force Awakens left off, Rey meets Luke Skywalker and tries to convince him to help The Resistance. He is initially hesitant but eventually decides to train Rey in the way of The Force. However, Kylo Ren also wants to track down Skywalker, and uses Rey for that purpose. Meanwhile, The Resistance are locked in deadly battle with the First Order and, while they have some minor victories, it seems like a futile struggle.

I'm not generally a Star Wars fan but to my surprise I enjoyed Episode VII - The Force Awakens. It grabbed my attention from the word go and held it all the way through. A rollicking adventure with engaging characters. Moreover, the blending of the old characters and the new was very well done, with the feeling that the torch had been passed to the new generation.

Unfortunately, Episode VIII doesn't come close to the engagement, novelty and adventure of Episode VII. Its essentially one long action-drama, with little in the way of engagement or originality. The Rey-Kylo Ren relationship had potential but went nowhere new or interesting and was snuffed out pretty quickly. Them possibly working together held my attention but the intrigue was short-lived. The movie simply degenerated into action sequences after that.

On the upside, no need to waste my time on Episode IX (Or X, or XI, or...)...

After George Lucas's execrable prequels and the mediocre The Force Awakens, I've learnt to keep my expectations low for any new Star Wars films in order to avoid total disappointment. Having just seen The Last Jedi, it appears that I haven't been keeping them low enough.

The reasons for my loathing are the same as those noted in the countless scathing reviews here on IMDb, so I won't go into drawn out detail - suffice to say that the film frequently beggars belief, is massively bloated, defies logic and is full of misplaced humour (the worst moments being the horrible 'steam iron' gag and BB-8's handy coin launcher).

3 out of 10, solely for the impressive special effects. Writer/director Rian Johnson shouldn't be allowed within 12 parsecs of another Star Wars sequel.

I love the Star Wars franchise. I was so anxious to watch The Last Jedi especially how The Force Awakens ended and how good The Force Awakens was. I bought my tickets a month and a half in advance in anticipation of episode eight.

As the movie started I was dialed in for the first 15 minutes then I noticed this subtle uneasiness in me like a disturbance in the force. It began with the interaction between Poe and Princess Leia. She made a comment and made a decision regarding Poe that I found a little unsettling. "OK." I thought. I didn't like that exchange but it's not a show stopper. The subtlety was that Leia was making it seem like the Rebels were in no need of heroes. They didn't need fighters anymore, they needed thinkers (or something akin to that). I took that little shift in philosophy in stride and kept eagerly watching. A couple of other small iniquities occurred but I soldiered forth watching with an open mind because it's "Star Wars".

Then, there came the interaction between Rey and Luke Skywalker.

Luke is part of movie folklore to me. Like many people have the one celebrity they'd like to meet: the one fictional character for me has always been Luke Skywalker. Luke was the first hero I'd seen wear black. He had piloting skills, light saber skills and could do Jedi mind tricks. He was the coolest.

Fast forward nearly 40 years and now Luke is an old man. So what I'm expecting is an older, WISER Luke. If Luke is on a deserted planet then it must be for a very good reason. And if Rey found him, much like Luke found Yoda, then Luke will have so much to impart upon Rey. That's not quite what went down. They made Luke a sullen pessimistic old man that was ignorant of simple truths. He offered so little; to the movie and to Rey. He was a shell of his former self, he was only good at being the ex machina. The Luke Skywalker in this movie was NOT the Luke Skywalker I knew. The Luke Skywalker I know was killed in this movie.

After seeing my fictional hero relegated to something unrecognizable I actually became bitter while watching the movie. There was almost nothing they could do to save the movie. And they didn't . In fact, it got worse. By the end the movie was more of what I should have saw coming: rebels running from the Republic and figuring out some remote yet heroic way to ward them off. And what added to the annoyingness of this movie is that they didn't know when or how to end it. What should have been the end was followed up by another half an hour mini movie with its own beginning, middle and end.

But unlike The Last Jedi I know how to end this post. Don't waste your time.

It is as if Rian Johnson watched the Star Wars movies on mute before writing/directing this film. Visually, the movie is stunning. From the set pieces to the action sequences, "The Last Jedi" has some of the best visual moments in the franchise. Unfortunately, the story and a true understanding of the Star Wars universe is lacking.

• The actions of some of the characters are completely against what we have seen in other films (the treatment of Luke Skywalker is absurd).

• The new characters introduced are irritating and shallow (Laura Dern's Vice-Admiral Holdo might be my least favorite character in Star Wars history).

• Force sensitivity is a joke (Leia, Luke, Kylo and Rey).

• The entire "master code breaker" plotline is frustratingly pointless.

When I look at the poster for this movie, I think about the epic fight sequences and the daring visuals. This is fortunate, because the rest of the film is frustratingly disjointed from the rest of the franchise.

Best Character: Kylo Ren Best Quote: "Pass on what you have learned. Strength. Mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." - Yoda Best Moment: The battle against Snoke's guards. The red scene!

I really want to sit across from Rian Johnson and Kathleen Kennedy and ask them honest questions:

1. Do you know what "heavy-handed" means?

2. In film school, or in any time in your career, did you ever learn about building tension, or making the audience care about characters, or continuity from a previous installment?

3. Is this a Star Wars movie or a Marvel movie version of Star Wars?