Star Wars - Episode VIII: Die letzten Jedi

This cinematic catastrophe, masquerading as a continuation of the beloved Star Wars saga, is an utter disgrace to the franchise and a desecration of everything that once made it great. Director Rian Johnson's feeble attempt to leave his mark on this illustrious universe falls short in every conceivable way, leaving fans and cinephiles alike bewildered and dismayed.

From the very outset, it becomes apparent that The Last Jedi lacks any coherent vision or respect for the source material. Johnson takes delight in tearing down the established mythology, tossing aside the profound themes and intricate character arcs that have captivated audiences for decades. Instead, we are subjected to a hodgepodge of convoluted plotlines and laughable attempts at subversion, all executed with a lack of finesse and intelligence that is truly astonishing.

Gone are the iconic heroes we once held dear, replaced by hollow caricatures of their former selves. Mark Hamill's portrayal of Luke Skywalker, a character etched into the annals of cinematic history, is reduced to a moping hermit devoid of purpose or conviction. The essence of Luke's struggle and growth, painstakingly developed over multiple films, is discarded in favor of a disillusioned old man who resorts to throwing tantrums like a petulant child. It is a disservice to Hamill's talent and an insult to the audience's intelligence.

Furthermore, the new characters introduced in The Last Jedi are equally unimpressive. Rey, portrayed by Daisy Ridley, continues to be a one-dimensional Mary Sue, effortlessly mastering the Force without any training or struggle. The potential for compelling storytelling is squandered, replaced by a tedious parade of nonsensical twists and contrived romantic entanglements. The script is riddled with cringe-inducing attempts at humor, which only serve to further undermine any semblance of seriousness or gravitas.

Visually, the film offers little respite from its narrative failings. The action sequences lack the grandeur and precision that once defined the franchise, devolving into a cacophony of meaningless explosions and flashy yet empty spectacle. The once awe-inspiring space battles are reduced to uninspired video game sequences, bereft of any emotional weight or strategic depth. Even the iconic lightsaber duels, once choreographed with elegance and purpose, now feel like nothing more than a choreographed mess of flashy acrobatics.

It is clear that The Last Jedi suffers from a severe lack of creative vision, guided by a director who either misunderstands or deliberately disregards the essence of the Star Wars saga. The film's attempts at subversion and reinvention fall flat, resulting in a disjointed and unsatisfying experience that tarnishes the legacy of its predecessors. Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi is an abomination, an insult to the intelligence of its audience, and a dark stain on the once-shining galaxy far, far away.

It is as if Rian Johnson watched the Star Wars movies on mute before writing/directing this film. Visually, the movie is stunning. From the set pieces to the action sequences, "The Last Jedi" has some of the best visual moments in the franchise. Unfortunately, the story and a true understanding of the Star Wars universe is lacking.

• The actions of some of the characters are completely against what we have seen in other films (the treatment of Luke Skywalker is absurd).

• The new characters introduced are irritating and shallow (Laura Dern's Vice-Admiral Holdo might be my least favorite character in Star Wars history).

• Force sensitivity is a joke (Leia, Luke, Kylo and Rey).

• The entire "master code breaker" plotline is frustratingly pointless.

When I look at the poster for this movie, I think about the epic fight sequences and the daring visuals. This is fortunate, because the rest of the film is frustratingly disjointed from the rest of the franchise.

Best Character: Kylo Ren Best Quote: "Pass on what you have learned. Strength. Mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." - Yoda Best Moment: The battle against Snoke's guards. The red scene!

I really want to sit across from Rian Johnson and Kathleen Kennedy and ask them honest questions:

1. Do you know what "heavy-handed" means?

2. In film school, or in any time in your career, did you ever learn about building tension, or making the audience care about characters, or continuity from a previous installment?

3. Is this a Star Wars movie or a Marvel movie version of Star Wars?

Picking up where The Force Awakens left off, Rey meets Luke Skywalker and tries to convince him to help The Resistance. He is initially hesitant but eventually decides to train Rey in the way of The Force. However, Kylo Ren also wants to track down Skywalker, and uses Rey for that purpose. Meanwhile, The Resistance are locked in deadly battle with the First Order and, while they have some minor victories, it seems like a futile struggle.

I'm not generally a Star Wars fan but to my surprise I enjoyed Episode VII - The Force Awakens. It grabbed my attention from the word go and held it all the way through. A rollicking adventure with engaging characters. Moreover, the blending of the old characters and the new was very well done, with the feeling that the torch had been passed to the new generation.

Unfortunately, Episode VIII doesn't come close to the engagement, novelty and adventure of Episode VII. Its essentially one long action-drama, with little in the way of engagement or originality. The Rey-Kylo Ren relationship had potential but went nowhere new or interesting and was snuffed out pretty quickly. Them possibly working together held my attention but the intrigue was short-lived. The movie simply degenerated into action sequences after that.

On the upside, no need to waste my time on Episode IX (Or X, or XI, or...)...

The original Star Wars films ("4-6" as we're now supposed to call them) were FUN. It's that simple. They had action, surprise, and a bit of humor. They were a treat for viewers young and old.

"The Last Jedi" is an overwhelming smorgasbord of dramatic side stories, multiple plots and conflicts, all stuffed into one film. Could the writers not agree on a single storyline to follow?

I get it. The film is supposed to be more dramatic, more emotional. Snore... I'm not a fan of emotional dramas. More power to you if you enjoy them. But again, this franchise is supposed to be FUN. Does anyone remember what fun feels like these days?

You have the heroes, the villains, and the battle between them. It's a tried and true action-packed formula that has served countless classic films.

Take, for example, this movie's long and winding exploration of Kylo Ren's inner feelings. I don't care. I'm not interested in the moody emo villain and his complex emotions. Again, heroes and villains. Action. Fun. Let's go.

I miss the magic of the original films. Unfortunately those days are long gone in a galaxy far, far away.