Isis & Osiris - Die Armee der Finsternis

Dear God... this is one of the worst things that I have ever watched. Everything about this movie is awful. Everything. I am not exaggerating in the slightest. I'm beyond words, actually. There's so much wrong with this, that there's nowhere I can begin. Just please. Please. Please for the love of humanity, do everything possible to avoid this garbage. The beginning so horrible, that I thought, "Well, it can't get any worst than this..." I was wrong. The graphics are horrible. My three year old makes better effects with crayons. The director/writer/actors/editors, obviously have no shame... by releasing this madness unto the public, it proves that anyone will do anything to make a buck. There are no mummies. There are no actors that deliver any good lines. The script is horribly written. This is just awful in every way imaginable.

Previous reviewers pretty much summed up the plot so I:

a)Wont bother and b)actually fast forwarded though most of the film c)Had to stop the parts I did watch to wipe away my tears of laughter

The ONLY person that should ever be re-hired is the special effects guy and that's it. The characters were weak, shallow and predictable. The writer/director, please don't quit your day job. The props people, really the book of the UN-dead was bound and the Egyptian hieroglyphics looked like the ones I wrote when I was nine; mine were better by the way.

How did this film ever see the light of day I'll never know but do yourself a favor and don't ever watch it.

This Movie has absolutely ONE THING going for it: Priya Rai.

The acting in this movie is terrible: no skill or craft at all. Troma Films have better actors than this drivel. The ONLY exception is Priya Rai.

For those of you who might recognize that name, she used to be a adult film star, and recently retired from porn to do more non-adult films - SHE made more of an effort than anyone in the film to act and didn't look too cheesy doing so in the process.

Since this is her first non-adult film, I'll go easy on her, and it's the only reason I give this movie a 1-star - that star is for her. Even great actors started from the bottom.

Beyond that: there is nothing else going for this film. There is no need to give you any spoiler warnings, because the bad acting, bad "Sound effects", poor lighting, and abysmal "Special Effects" completely make you lose interest in the entire film.

Watch the film to see Priya Rai in a very tight "outfit" for a "mummy", and as soon as you do, return the movie back to the video store, and ask for your money back.

With a title that includes Lady Mummy you knew this wasn't going to be award winning stuff and that assumption is somewhat of an understatement.

With a porn star antagonist, a cast with such little talent it feels like you're watching a 3rd grade nativity play and sfx done by monkeys there really isn't much going on here in Isis Rising.

Considering the titular character is a porn star the movie doesn't even have anything in the way of T&A which was surprising.

Cringe inducing "Horror" at it's worst, no consistency, poorly made and with no redeeming features.

The Good:

I'll get back to you on that one

The Bad:

The acting, especially Priya Rai

The awful sfx

"ISIS Rising" (2013) is a film with no educational value, and I can't believe anyone could find it helpful in understanding the terrifying events connected with ISIS in Iraq and Syria. Throughout this film's entire running length, it yields no genuine insight into the international crisis. Indeed, it doesn't even provide the viewer with any information whatsoever! I'd rate it at a 0 out of 10.

The filmmakers here made a truly bizarre major creative decision in trying to inform the viewer via … metaphor? We are actually introduced early on to a character name "ISIS." She is, inexplicably, a buxom female mummy. No … you read that right. ISIS is represented by a major character who is a big-bosomed, female mummy. She fights a male mummy (presumably representing Western democracies?!). In fact, the entire film plays out like a low- budget pageant set in ancient Egypt. Why was that choice made? How does the pantheon of ancient Egyptian Gods relate to radical Islam in the modern world? Isn't that a bit like employing Roman mythology as a metaphor for contemporary Christianity, Judaism, or another modern religion?

There is a preponderance of breasts. What did they symbolize? Iraq and Syria? When ISIS the lady mummy clutches her breasts, does that represent the terrorist army clutching the two countries in its grip? And what about the barely dressed male mummy? Should I be offended that the United States and her allies are represented by some guy's giant schvantz?

Skip this.