One Ranger

I can't decide which character was the most annoying and irritating, Thomas Jane with this phony cowboy accent faking a deep Sam Elliott tone trying to emulate Clint Eastwood, Dominique Tipper with her accent and entire character unconvincing, or John Malkovich speaking so slow and slurred like he was drunk in every scene. Just one of those characters are enough to make watching this film irritating, but having to put up with all three throughout the entire 95 min runtime was unbearable. The only convincing and entertaining characters were Dean Jagger and Jess Liaudin.

Then there's the predicable, convoluted, logic-defying and plot-hole riddled screenplay that has so much happening in the normally comfortable 95 min runtime, the irritating characters and slow pacing made everything that was happening oddly boring and uninteresting. The narrative and dialog was just a lot of nonsense, filler, with very little substance. I get that this was a low budget B film, but it was just a bunch of cliched narratives thrown all together to try and make an interesting story, and it failed. Maybe I would've enjoyed it a little more with less annoying and cliched characters, but as it was, it was painful to watch. Sure there were a few decent action scenes, but that's it.

Except for Thomas Jane's ridiculously over-the-top Texas accent and his cowboy hat that didn't fit, the movie's not all that bad.

A dialogue coach and a properly fitted hat could have turned this from a 5 into a 7 rather easily.

The premise was a bit goofy, but the action made up for it--sort of. There are a lot of flicks out there now that are worse.

Malkovich was hilarious in a part where he channeled Billy Bob Thornton's "Karl" from "Sling Blade" sort of transformed into a British intelligence agent, but it wasn't supposed to be funny. It just was.

Overall, a pretty good way to kill an hour and a half. Not great,, but not bad.

And here is the paradox. If you are old enough to remember when Tom Jane was a hot-ticket A-lister, ditto for John Malkovich, then unfortunately you are also old enough to remember when both Dennis Weaver and Clint Eastwood did this same story (the former on TV, the latter in a feature), and did it much better. Just about every aspect of the production is weak, but most especially the writing and the editing. Director Johnson, best known for his completely forgettable "B" action flicks, does absolutely nothing to raise his reputation. In fact, ONE RANGER violates one of the "commandments" of film-making, which is to never make the villain more interesting than the hero. ((Designated "IMDb Top Reviewer." Please check out my list "167+ Nearly-Perfect Movies (with the occasional Anime or TV miniseries) you can/should see again and again (1932 to the present))

This shows why not to make a movie from the first draft. If the writers had done a little work on this, it could have been quite good. I don't know how Texas Rangers dress, nor do I care. MI-6 enlists him to help catch or kill a terrorist who's planning mass destruction in London. The terrorist is of course Irish, his main henchman is a Russian who is nearly indestructible. The fights he has with the ranger are ridiculously over the top. And repetitive. The ranger constantly, and without for the most part, his own gun, blasts heavily armed terrorists away again and again. Malkovich, for the first time in any role, sleep walks through this. Guess he needed a few bucks. Direction is pedestrian. This could have been so much better.

I was in the mood for a low Budget b-movie. I just noticed this one could been interesting. The trailer was acceptable and Malkovich was in it.

So, consequently I downloaded for free and after 20 minutes I just noticed everything starts to make nonsense. I mean, I was not expecting an Oscar winning script, but at least a decent one. I was wrong.

The movie itself is an insult to intelligence. Really damb decisions from all the characters and really, really predictable from beginning till the end.

To add, John Malkovich is the worst acting part here. Why he is trying hard to speak so slow and have British fake accent?

So, overall a bad B-movie that could have been far better with a more risky adult oriented script.