The Radleys

The Radleys is a painfully dull, pointless attempt at a vampire comedy that fails on every level. Damian Lewis, who deserves much better, is completely wasted in this lifeless suburban vampire story, which has no bite and zero humor. The film's weak attempts at social commentary are as bland as its characters, turning it into a tedious mess of worn-out vampire clichés and shallow family drama. The pacing drags, the jokes fall flat, and there's no real horror to speak of. Director seems confused about whether to focus on comedy or drama, leaving the audience stuck in a boring limbo. The Radleys is a bloodless disaster that should've stayed buried, only serving to remind us how far the vampire genre has fallen. Lewis ought to fire his agent for dragging him into this cinematic nightmare, which is about as thrilling as watching paint dry at a funeral.

The Radleys are a highly thought of, upstanding family in The community, but they hide a dark secret, they're vampires. Their solidarity and normal life ends when the younger members learn who and what they are.

I was seriously looking forward to this film, the list of names, Euros Lyn, Kelly Macdonald and the wonderful Damian Lewis.....sadly the realisation was lacking.

It wasn't funny enough to be a comedy, wasn't dark enough to be a horror, not was it clever enough to be a thriller, it just made for amiable enough background noise.

Lewis clearly had a bit of fun playing two parts, but ultimately it was a waste of his talents.

Are we really now in the age of The Vegan Vampire, it was always going to happen, as a child I used to love Count Duckula, the only Vegetarian vampire duck, even he'd struggle with this one.

Disappointing.

5/10.

In even-paced contemporary British vampire flick "The Radleys" Kelly Macdonald & Damien Lewis, with teen kids Bo Bragason & Harry Baxendale, seem a regular middle-class Yorkshire-coast family... til the kids learn (the hard way) that they're actually all vampires (albeit abstaining ones). Lewis' active-vampire bro (also played by Lewis) comes to help them through this tricky period, but makes matters worse (drawing in suspicious neighbour Shaun Parkes, fearing for the safetly of son Jay Lycurgo). Director Euros Lyn & writer Talitha Stevenson may want it to be the first of a new "Twilight"-esque franchise, but it lacks the requisite bite, flair and style for that. Mediocre.

The Good: Interesting themes as metaphors for Vampirism (sexuality, addiction, ancestry, teen angst), decent performances from Kelly McDonald and Damian Lewis, original British town-setting of Whitby, gorgeous cinematography.

The Bad: Falsely adveritised as a comedy-horror/thriller. "The Radleys" is none of those things, not scary or dark enough to be a horror, not funny enough to be a comedy, or thrilling enough to be a thriller. If you want a comedy-horror/thriller, check out any of the greats from the 80's ("Fright NIght", "An American Werewolf in London", "The Lost Boys" etc.) No suspense or stakes (pun intended). No particularly engaging characters, they're all just a bit meh (even Uncle Will). Shaun Parkes is criminally underused as a practical mute throughout the whole film, despite maybe 5 lines of dialogue. Very poorly paced.

The Verdict: At best, "The Radleys" can only be described as a familial-drama with specks of horror (it doesn't romanticise the horror enough or show you the seductive sleazy appeal of the other side to be classified as suburban-gothic like, say, "American Beauty"). Despite the interesting above-mentioned themes and parallels raised in a grounded setting, none are properly developed nor explored ("Bones & All" does it waaaaaaaaaay better) and for all the talk of bloodlust being the most pleasurable thing in the world, you never see anyone having any fun with it. The best part is probably the third and final act (last 15 minutes), but it's a snooze-fest to get there and makes you wish it was something more... satisfying than a TV movie. Even more so as a brit-flick that dares not belong to the gamut of historical epics, rom-coms, or biopics.

It follows a seemingly ordinary family with a dark secret: they are vampires. They choose not to drink blood despite their natural cravings, but their truth is revealed one day.

Kelly Macdonald is strong as Helen Radley. Bo Bragason is strong also as Clara Radley. Damian Lewis and the rest of the cast are pretty vague and don't really have any presence. Casting is a huge error.

The story is about a family of vampires who don't drink people's blood anymore. The problem is, there is no story. It's more like a few days in the life of a boring family of vampires. We lurch from scene to scene with nothing really happening. There are constant scenes where people just look at each other, or stare at the wall. Nothing is happening and no feeling is being communicated to us. People are just standing or sitting, doing nothing for seconds at a time. None of the characters except Helen and Clara really have any personality at all. Possibly one of the worst characters I've seen for a very long time is the pseudo-hippie-vampire-chief Will, also played by Damian Lewis. The character is not very well put together and Lewis's second rate acting abilities can't make anything of the character.

So we've got mostly poor actors, badly cast, with a poor script, and amateur videography and directing. Then we're told it's not just a horror, but also a comedy. I've just finished watching it and I honestly can't recall anything remotely funny happening during the entire show. It's almost amusing how bad the film is, maybe that's what they mean? Ultimately, there is no point to the film. There's no meaning for it. It's nothing more than a fly on the wall documentary of some boring middle class vampires going through their daily routines in a boring way. It really aws tedious to watch and when the end finally came and a long, meaningless speech had come to a close, I said "Finally, thank god that's finished." I give it a 2 and I think that's being generous.