The Radleys

In even-paced contemporary British vampire flick "The Radleys" Kelly Macdonald & Damien Lewis, with teen kids Bo Bragason & Harry Baxendale, seem a regular middle-class Yorkshire-coast family... til the kids learn (the hard way) that they're actually all vampires (albeit abstaining ones). Lewis' active-vampire bro (also played by Lewis) comes to help them through this tricky period, but makes matters worse (drawing in suspicious neighbour Shaun Parkes, fearing for the safetly of son Jay Lycurgo). Director Euros Lyn & writer Talitha Stevenson may want it to be the first of a new "Twilight"-esque franchise, but it lacks the requisite bite, flair and style for that. Mediocre.

An attempt at bringing something new to the vampire canon but literally bites off more than it can chew with a story that progresses to an absolute snore fest of disinterest and unwelcome turns. Literally no element of the story pays off and the telegraphing of the eventual and obvious ending provides little more than a very basic resolution to a story that will age like old milk. It's well made and the cast are admirable in an obvious attempt to be part of some sort of subversive take on the vampire genre, unfortunately it will be forgotten and make barely a blip with any dark horror fan. If the writers had spent more time trying to properly build the intrigue with the ex policeman and his attempt to discover the truth about his wife or explored how they covered their tracks or their mind control powers rather than shelving literally every element in effort to push what is a really weak narrative with all the obvious modern tropes and gay/bi characters. It's a streaming title for those with a non critical take on film and enjoy Damien Lewis, saying that I do feel that Kelly Macdonald needs to avoid these type of roles because she seems almost typecast in them. As a movie, it's in the horror genre but is not scary or gory, it's also in the comedy genre without being funny, it isn't edgy, far from intriguing and not overly entertaining, just a movie that showed some potential but proved to be nothing more than 'just a good trailer' because at its core it treads an obvious path that others have been down thousands of times before. I marked it down because it seems to aim for such mediocrity, it almost feels like it had more to offer and got lost in the edit.

The Radleys is a painfully dull, pointless attempt at a vampire comedy that fails on every level. Damian Lewis, who deserves much better, is completely wasted in this lifeless suburban vampire story, which has no bite and zero humor. The film's weak attempts at social commentary are as bland as its characters, turning it into a tedious mess of worn-out vampire clichés and shallow family drama. The pacing drags, the jokes fall flat, and there's no real horror to speak of. Director seems confused about whether to focus on comedy or drama, leaving the audience stuck in a boring limbo. The Radleys is a bloodless disaster that should've stayed buried, only serving to remind us how far the vampire genre has fallen. Lewis ought to fire his agent for dragging him into this cinematic nightmare, which is about as thrilling as watching paint dry at a funeral.

The Good: Interesting themes as metaphors for Vampirism (sexuality, addiction, ancestry, teen angst), decent performances from Kelly McDonald and Damian Lewis, original British town-setting of Whitby, gorgeous cinematography.

The Bad: Falsely adveritised as a comedy-horror/thriller. "The Radleys" is none of those things, not scary or dark enough to be a horror, not funny enough to be a comedy, or thrilling enough to be a thriller. If you want a comedy-horror/thriller, check out any of the greats from the 80's ("Fright NIght", "An American Werewolf in London", "The Lost Boys" etc.) No suspense or stakes (pun intended). No particularly engaging characters, they're all just a bit meh (even Uncle Will). Shaun Parkes is criminally underused as a practical mute throughout the whole film, despite maybe 5 lines of dialogue. Very poorly paced.

The Verdict: At best, "The Radleys" can only be described as a familial-drama with specks of horror (it doesn't romanticise the horror enough or show you the seductive sleazy appeal of the other side to be classified as suburban-gothic like, say, "American Beauty"). Despite the interesting above-mentioned themes and parallels raised in a grounded setting, none are properly developed nor explored ("Bones & All" does it waaaaaaaaaay better) and for all the talk of bloodlust being the most pleasurable thing in the world, you never see anyone having any fun with it. The best part is probably the third and final act (last 15 minutes), but it's a snooze-fest to get there and makes you wish it was something more... satisfying than a TV movie. Even more so as a brit-flick that dares not belong to the gamut of historical epics, rom-coms, or biopics.

A bit harsh the ratings this lighthearted vampire flick gets on here. Well that's only my opinion, and my wife's I guess as she enjoyed it as well. Okay it's not a movie that will blow you away, but which one really does in this genre? It's certainly good enough to watch once, and although some actors could have done better overall it wasn't all that bad. I've seen Damian Lewis and Kelly MacDonald doing better in other movies but they were still enjoyable to watch. I'm glad I watched it. Would I watch it again in the future? Probably not, unless I forget everything about it and then I wouldn't mind rewatching it.