Bigfoot's Wild Weekend

You know it's bad when the women displayed on the promo image don't appear in the movie. I saw this on Amazon prime and wish I hadn't. The redhead on the promo card looked cute. Well there's no redhead in this movie...

This movie is one of the worst things I've seen. The acting is bad amateur soft core porn level. Everyone is reading off of cue cards or struggling to remember simple lines with zero emotion. I almost want to say this is a soft core porno, but there are very few nude scenes. The girls are not attractive either. They aren't ugly but don't expect any big T's. One really comical scene is there's a girl on girl scene and nothing is really shown, but one girl moans like there's no tomorrow because her calf is being rubbed. Not her lady bits, not even her thigh, but her calf and ankle...

Truly an awful, awful movie.

Filmed in California, even if you didn't know you see the California license plates on the vehicles. This is not a high-caliber movie. How bad is it? The quality reminds me of the VHS home movies I made in the 1980s with my small children and some of their friends.

In this story Bigfoot is real, there have been some local sightings, and a couple of reporters representing different publications are sent to investigate, and to write stories.

However there are some locals who dress in shaggy camouflage suits and they get mistaken for Bigfoot, creating confusion.

Then there are the van of nubile girls from a local reform school that arrive at the site for a weekend camping trip. They end up topless in the stream when Bigfoot shows up and steals articles of theirs.

The actors are uniformly amateurish, but that is OK because most of the characters are caricatures anyway. It would have been disingenuous to play them with accomplishes actors.

It is so bad it turns out to be entertaining. At home, streaming on Prime. If a rating of 5.5 (on a 1 to 10 scale) is average then this one probably should be a 3. I have actually seen worse.

I'd like to think that everyone involved in the making of this turkey had a nice time outside in the woods, with all the fresh air and sunshine. This is a truly terrible movie, the sort of movie that could end the art form. To extrapolate from the late great George S. Kaufman, "In outer space, the Hubble telescope was until recently the most powerful device for viewing far away objects, capable of magnifying these objects hundreds if not thousands of times; recently, the James Webb Telescope was launched and far exceeded the Hubble's performance. Now, if you were to somehow install the Hubble into the James Webb Telescope and point the whole thing at this movie, you would still be incapable of perceiving any possible reason for this movie to have been made." Those persons who gave a rating to this artifact of cinematic offal any higher than 2/10 I suspect are the sort of generous and decent souls who are the true salt of this Earth, early risers who begin each day optimistically and with a song or a whistle upon their lips as they heartily encourage the rest of us to follow their lead in living lives filled with service and faith and meticulous recycling and trash composting. They would never give this steaming pile of celluloid scheiße the rating it deserves because they are oh so better than the rest of us playful, indolent rabble and would never want the film makers to feel bad about foisting this pointless brain dead movie on an unsuspecting public. Good and decent people like that sicken me and I hope they all fall prey to letters from Nigerian princes.

The only reason I gave it more than 1 star is because it was filled with a number of very attractive young ladies of college age who spent nearly all their screen time frolicking in their original suite of clothing given them at birth by a generous and merciful Creator.

If you also appreciate cinema depictions of attractive sky clad women in the peak of youthful health, I heartily recommend this movie. But if even these transient charms are not enough to sustain you over the running time of this movie, then please do yourself the great service of running from this movie as you would run from certain painful death.

Honestly. Please give this movie a chance. If you are looking for some action, thriller, drama, or any acting, then this movie is not for you.

If however, you enjoy just having an originap movie, with sexy wackiness, and not have to use your brain, then this is brilliant. I actually really enjoyed watching it.

If you were ever wondering what the cut scenes of the plot of an adult film were, look no further. I'm almost certain that the cast were forced to act here.