Freeze

Pure garbage!

This movie starts off with 35 minutes of pointlessness.

That's act 1. I don't want to write spoilers here so I'll just tell you it doesn't get better, it gets worse and worse and worse.

The plot holes are massive. I mean you would have to suspend all reality of society to believe some of the things that occur to set up the "story" or "plot" or whatever this thing is.

There are other parts where you will just shake your head and ask: Why. That's the main question. This is utter nonsense. Unless you're into watching a plot that moves in ways that confuse you and make you annoyed, I would avoid this movie. Not good.

I sat down with a friend to watch this believing it to be a monster horror film. My friend will watch almost anything, the worst TV shows, low budget garbage, really anything at all, but 15 minutes into this and he asked to turn it off. It really is that bad. This movie , in what we saw, has nothing going for it. There is no atmosphere of horror, it looks like they could only afford partial costumes for some of the cast, the acting was like bad dinner theatre, the one female cast member had a modern haircut and looked like she stepped in from some other film, the monsters looked like cheap knock-offs from the Creature from the Black Lagoon films, and everything about this looked cheap and amateurish. Had we continued watching maybe it would have become a so bad it's funny movie, but my friend who'll watch the worst junk out there insisted we give up and I agreed.

Found this low budget horror film on a streaming service and decided to watch it. And I'm glad I did. It was only now I've come to review it did I find how much of the minority I seem to be. I'm guessing it's set about 100-150 years ago when a sail-ship takes an expedition to the North Pole in order to find a previous lost vessel. Naturally, they find something pretty nasty waiting to take a bite out of them in the frozen wastelands.

As I say, it's low budget. Don't expect any amazing set pieces, but what I enjoyed was the cast. They were older than your average cast of a modern horror film. Most cases have actors barely out of their late teens cast in roles which should really go to middle aged people. Here, I actually believed that the men on the crew were hardened sailors - especially the captain himself, who I was really rooting for.

Now, don't think that I'm saying that everything is perfect here. The monsters are nice - for the budget, but they're basically men in costumes and the lack of movement was really visible when the creatures had to attack humans. Because the monsters' mouths obviously weren't designed to move and be seen to take bites out of people, they just sort of rub their hideous, slimy faces against the people. It was actually quite comical, unfortunately.

Plus there's a woman on board. Yes, the 'in story' explanation is that she's a stowaway, but her character seems really out of place, like she's had Ripley's ('Alien' franchise) personality imprinted on her. She even tapes two guns together in a weird throwback to that classic scene from 'Aliens.' It's very out of place.

Then you have the human antagonist of the film, who chews up every piece of scenery even harder than any beastie could. He's more evil than a thousand Dr Evils and he shows it.

Yet, I watched it right until the end. I actually enjoyed it. It had its flaws, but the casting and story was different enough to keep me entertained. Although, perhaps its strongest 'selling point' (for me!) was that it was set a long time in the past and this is the first new horror film I've seen in a while where the teens don't have to point out that their cell phones don't have any reception.

Well, I've seen it. You need to see it, otherwise you would not believe that something like this is possible in the year of 2022. If this movie would have been shot, let's say in 1925, it might, perhaps, have been a mediocre movie, despite the bad acting, the ridiculous monsters and the obvious disregard of the fact, that it is cold, in fact, freezing, when all around you is covered with snow, and so on., I do wonder who was willing to finance such a disaster, and find actors desperate enough to participate in such a movie. I guess the producer must be a very convincing person with an hypnotic aura.

Poor acting, poor costumes, poor looking monsters and this is just the 5 min of the movie. Poor acting goes into over acting by hamming it up like a cheap thespian on stage in Bognor Regis. The creatures remind me of the Jon Petwee , Dr Who series run of rubber monsters. Seriously this movie is not worth your time because it sucks on a huge scale. 1/10 for being the worst movie to call itself an horror movie. I haven't left any spoilers in this review because there is no worthy spoilers to be given away in truth because the film is just so awful. If anyone can justify making this movie I will be astounded but I am going for tax loss reasons!