Conjuring Baba

There is nothing except illiteracy in this cheap knockoff of every cheap knockoff that ever existed. This movie makes Meet the Spartans, the crude and amateurish parody of the movie 300 seem like Shakespeare. If you enjoy movies that have special effects that not even Sid and Marty Krofft would have used in their children's shows in the 1970s then this is the movie you should see. The lighting is terrible, the plastic chains are something you can find at Party City looking for cheap Halloween decorations, and the titular character Baba has hair that looks like it came from a Hawaiian girl's luau outfit.

Well, from the movie's cover alone, I figured that this would most likely be a questionable affair. But I still opted to watch the movie, since it was a horror movie that I hadn't already seen, nor ever actually heard about.

I scrolled through the movie's data here on IMDb prior to watching the movie, and saw it had Jeff Kirkendall. Which immediately raised some alarm bells, as he usually stars in Mark Polonia movies. But thankfully this movie was not written or directed by Polonia. Though I saw that the Polonia Bros company logo as the movie started. Mark Polonia was part of the production though as a cinematographer and editor. But still, it didn't do much to increase my hopes of the movie being a good one.

From the fight scene that started out the movie, and the paranormal vidcast scene that followed, it was painfully obvious that this was going to be a low budge questionable movie. No doubt about that.

Of the entire cast ensemble in the movie, I was only familiar with Jeff Kirkendall. I have to admit that I was expecting Jamie Morgan to pop up in a movie such as this, as she usually stars in Polonia movies. The acting performances were wooden, shoddy, questionable and not particularly good. But then again, I wasn't exactly expecting stellar performances in a movie such as this.

The effects in the movie were laughably bad.

My rating of writer and director Jeff Carroll's 2022 movie "Conjuring Baba" lands on a generous two out of ten stars.

One: the movie is supposed to start with a mass-killing. This never happened.

Two: the lazyness of picking stock-soundeffects is at a new low.

Three: the movie" is made almost entirely from talking heads. Empty heads. Even the djinni is dumb as heck.

The cinematography is blans, the lighting is atrociously bland and too bright.

There are unreasonable cartoon drop-ins, wooden acting, and only 1 toilet for an entire campus they use with their trousers up. They also do no do second takes, and they are worse at first takes than Steven Seagal.

The "egyptian ouija-board" is cool though, and they manage the crew to not be seen in sunglasses-reflection.

I don't like reviews that include, "This is the worst movie I've ever seen." I see it too often for it to possibly be true. So I'll just say it's definitely among the worst movies I've ever seen.

I also generally don't care for one star reviews. There's usually at least one redeeming quality to warrant a second star. Maybe lighting, set design, one person who can halfway act. None of that exists here. No aspect of this movie rises above high-school film club level (at best). Not the script, not the acting, nothing. I found myself thinking, "Surely they held auditions and these were the people who made the cut?"

Don't bother unless you want to see what a real one star movie looks like.