3 Musketeers

And unfortunately it's a modern treatment that is done very poorly. If it weren't for Heather Hemmens who is beautiful and adorable with a lot of charisma, Asylum's latest mock buster 3 Musketeers would have no redeeming qualities at all. The 2011 film of The Three Musketeers is no great shakes but even that was better than this, at least the film looked good and the characters of Athos, Richelieu and Rochefort were convincingly acted. That's more than can be said for 3 Musketeers, the movie looks very slipshod with choppy editing and camera work that is highly suggestive of somebody who had absolutely no idea of what technique to use, almost too much like a very distracting experiment. Hemmens also is the only convincing enough actor in the movie too, the villains of Alan Rachins and David Chokachi are far too camp to be believable(Rachins is just awful here), the Musketeers lack charisma and energy mostly, Xin Sarith Wuku acts much more convincingly with his fists than he does with his mouth, and talented martial arts/stunt men like Simon Rhee are wasted. The action sequences are very poorly shot, dull and verge on cheesy, often feeling like inserted footage from the worst of Steven Seagal fight scenes. Add to that cardboard clichés passing for characters, dialogue of mind-numbingly banality and stupidity- someone really could have done with a few days more to make everything seem more complete and less hurried- and a story that has no sense of originality, excitement or fun at all, and you have a movie that is badly misconceived and fails on nearly every level. 2/10, and that is only for Hemmens. Bethany Cox

I never imagined getting frustrated watching a movie so pathetically made. I'm not sure what the producers are thinking using 3 musketeers as a title. they made a mockery on the original in order to gain a hype to watch this movie. I'm completely disgusted! if anyone is planning to see this movie, please spare your misery and don't watch this as this might just ruin your day. I suggest go out and have time with your family instead. All in all Fast forward button was my friend watching this movie. All in all I rate this movie 2 of 10. If you are to watch this movie, don't get your hopes high as you will definitely just waste your time.

This movie was somewhat amusing. If you don't expect intelligent dialogs, awesome special effects and top-class actors you can watch this movie. Switch-off your brain and watch.

The story is a typical good and bad thing without surprises. There are some would-be hackers with very unrealistic hacking methods, some would-be fighters, boring fighting scenes and a lot of low-level special effects at which I have to say that I have seen worse effects in other movies.

I really liked the charisma of Alexandra D'Artangan (Heather Hemmens) and Isaac Athos (Xin Sarith Wuku). But most of the actors are completely lacking in acting performance. The bad guy Treville the Cardinal (Alan Rachins) is an inflexible old guy and simply not credible as a bad guy from my opinion.

The camera work is awful. Too much switching (close, distant, close, distant...).

All things considered the involved parties tried hard too make a movie with good effects but unfortunately they didn't managed it.

This could have been an interesting movie if they kept to the original premise: transfer the Dumas story into modern times. Unfortunately this was not attempted, it is just a typical spy story along the lines of "find out about a conspiracy and stop it by some computer hacking and shoot-outs", just that some characters are named Athos, Porthos and Aramis. The original idea of "The Three Musketeers" - innocent country-side lad D'Artagnan comes to the big city Paris and learns a lot from three experienced fighters - is not used. The D'Artagnan we get here is a clever agent who knows everything better and just lets the other three do the dirty work, like hand-to-hand combat and computer hacking. So if the script doesn't show any serious effort to use the ideas of the original, the technical side is sloppy as well, with many handheld shots and editing that appears to randomly jump from actor to actress. I give this very generous 3 out of 10 for a few funny moments (intended or not).

Imagine taking the dialog from the balloons in a comic book and simply using it as a screenplay. Would it work? See this movie for an answer. The story of the 3 musketeers has been shoehorned into a paint-by-numbers spy/secret agent/commando story by assigning the names and some plot points of the original to the rather un-original characters and story of this deadly opus. I admit I didn't make it through the whole thing so I'll tell you what I saw before giving up in disgust. A crack team of "musketeers" has penetrated some major military installation in (I guess) China and is trashing their warlike computer which has been cleverly designed to resemble some high voltage switchgear. The location has been cleverly disguised as a factory or oil refinery or something with a lot of pipes. In the process our heroes kill the half dozen useless guards, blow up an airliner, a helicopter and a few other things. The computer whiz hacks an anti-aircraft gun with his tablet computer, poking the poor thing savagely with his index finger. A dozen jabs or so and he has logged onto Chinese wi-fi, cracked the firewall of the internet enabled gun, aimed it, fired it and blown up the enemy fighters, all with less keystrokes (finger pokes?) than it took YOU to get the movie to play! We never find out exactly why they caused all this havoc. Somehow they get back to safety where they regroup and meet up with the girl "musketeer" who is meditating in a brief two-piece swim suit, perhaps hoping to remember where she left the rest of her costume. The single sentence, comic book balloon style speech continues throughout this mayhem, branding all involved as 2-D cardboard totally disposable and boring characters. Even the sexy girl is uninteresting and dull.

At first I thought this would be a spoof of this type of story and looked forward to some entertaining gags. But no, this thing is apparently meant to be "for real" and we must suffer through the antics of two brainless lugs and one bimbo as they karate-chop their way through life.

This clunker has the appearance of a costly production, what with many 'splodin' things, flyovers of a big city, cgi space satellites and such, but it's still small enough to require the crew to post bogus favorable reviews, hoping to bolster the pathetic rating and maybe con a few credulous viewers into buying or renting this wretched dog! It's a stinker of the bottom tier! Avoid!