Everly - Die Waffen einer Frau

This is officially the most sadistic Christmas movie I've ever seen. ...So far. I mean, I haven't seen Black Christmas yet. So maybe that'll change once I see those movies.

My dad likes to ask me sometimes regarding action movies: "Is there a purpose to all this?" There IS no purpose. The whole movie is one big, fat excuse to slam a bunch of crazy action scenes at you. As an exercise in brutal violence, it succeeds. It's got style, and it's even got some genuinely funny moments of black humour to go along with it. The movie's premise is absolutely ridiculous and stupid, and laughably insane, but it plows through it with an almost completely straight face. In that respect, the movie is a deadpan masterpiece.

Anyway. Salma Hayek's acting, along with Joe Lynch's neat direction, are both too good for this type of movie. This is a modern-day exploitation film at its most blatant. This is Die Hard with Salma Hayek and the Yakuza. It's limited to one floor of an apartment building as a setting, and it's set during Christmas, and the main character is trapped in one room. Only unlike Die Hard, this movie has some truly cruel material to make you squirm in it. I mean wow.

Despite its flaws (and it has a lot of them) it was an entertaining movie. It's shallow, it's not all too smart, and for people with weak stomachs, it's pretty much unwatchable. Its low-budgetness isn't all that obvious unless you REALLY look for it, and most of its effects are refreshingly practical. It's nice to see blood squibs in action movies this day and age, instead of the regular old CGI clouds we're stuck with eighty (or ninety?) percent of the time. Salma Hayek hasn't been this good since Desperado, and that was freaking 1995.

I recommend any action fans to seek it out--unless, of course, you like some brains to go with your bullets, and/or you're not too keen on seeing the effects of swallowing battery acid. The rest of you should have a good time. Good times all around.

Everly (Salma Hayek) is an overworked woman who has had it with her boss and her job. Unfortunately, her employer doesn't have much of a retirement plan so when he wants her terminated, he really means it. Having not seen her family in four years and wanting a better work/life balance, she takes her frustrations out on her co-workers who are also angry at not getting a Christmas bonus. Her family also gets treated poorly when they visit her at work. The special effects crew worked overtime on what starts out as an action/thriller but soon morphs into a very, very dark comedy that'll make you appreciate having the opportunity to work from home. The beautiful Hayek shows off her acting chops whether it's taking a stand against workplace sexual harassment or using a machine gun against the HR department. Die Hard and It's A Wonderful Life both take a back seat to this Christmas gem. You'll have to watch it to see if everyone lives happily ever(ly) after.

"I will make sure I die tonight and I don't want to give any of them the satisfaction." After assassins are sent by her ex to kill her, Everly (Hayak) must fight them off alone. After her mother and daughter show up things start to get personal. There are many action movies that start off slow, they have almost a half hour of character development and story to get you invested in the movie, then end with the action to keep you watching. This is one that forgoes all that. It starts off in what seems like the middle of the movie and never lets up. Wall to wall action. The movie is very graphic and intense, much like the original Oldboy, the movie is hard to watch in some parts. Selma Hayak hasn't been in a movie in awhile and its strange that this is the one she came back for. When I think bad ass females she isn't the first name I think of, but she does hold her own. Overall, exciting and full of action but be prepared for what you will experience. I give this a C+.

Greetings again from the darkness. If only drive-in theaters were still the weekend hang-out of choice for teenage boys, this latest from director Joe Lynch would be the perfect second feature after some horror or slasher designed to generate oohs and ahhs through gross-outs (elevators and grenades are not a good mix).

After beginning with its most unsettling scene – gang abuse of a female (fortunately via black screen and sound effects) - the rest of the film plays just like an ultra-violent, hyper-speed video game. The two main distinctions here are that all of the action takes place inside a loft apartment, and the lead character is played by Salma Hayek. Having appeared in Desperado and From Dusk Til Dawn, Ms. Hayek is no stranger to wild action sequences, but here she carries every carnage-filled scene … all while slinking around in a silk slip or her favorite yoga pants.

Gun, knives, swords, grenades, chemicals and various other implements of destruction are brandished by Hayek, masked killers, greedy hookers, a SWAT team, and Hayek's ex-pimp/kidnapper. We even get a character called "The Sadist" (Togo Igawa) in one of the most straight-forward character names in movie history. There is even an attack dog named Bonzai that is well-trained in everything except the difference between a ball and a grenade. And therein lies the saving grace here … the movie has some absurd humor that prevents the ultimate tone of dread by such films as Saw. The humor isn't so much clever as it is outrageous … and it helps offset the gruesome and blood-filled body count (at least 20 in the first 20 minutes!).

Director Joe Lynch is more comfortable with horror films than action films, but it's clear he has a love with B-movies, and he is fortunate enough to have Salma Hayek front and center. The only way to watch this is with your brain shifted to neutral. The level of ridiculous is off the scale and includes too many "that makes no sense" moments to recap here. On top of all that, the action occurs around Christmas, and use of six traditional Christmas songs adds to the twisted humor that will probably keep you tuned in, despite your knowing better.

I've read all the reviews and I am not surprised by all the negativity. No frontal nudity, no talent blah blah blah. I watched this film because I wanted to look at Salma Hayek for 90 minutes. I wasn't expecting anything. Yes it was poorly written and some of the acting was cringe worthy but most of that came out funny, not unentertaining. I truly laughed out loud but not in a bad way. If not for the subject matter they could've called this a comedy and I would've been satisfied. The story line was one we could all be sympathetic to. If your a person who just wants to relax and see a movie then see this. I'll continue to be a Salma Hayek fan and I look forward to the time she is offered more meaningful roles. That time will come.