Who Is Simon Miller?

Negatives First: (1.) A made for TV movie with actors loaded with "TV series" in their resumé credits. Consequently, physical appearance rules with lots of rote memorization and turn taking read-a-line and smile style acting. (2.) Not only made for TV but funded by Wal Mart (mega stomper of small family business) and Procter & Gamble (you're only valuable if your'e whitely clean) with additional funding from Conagra (frozen fast foods) Pepsico (unhealthy junk food) Microsoft (bland conformity). In other words a very boring commercial script that families with an 11 year old will love. Problem there is that the story wouldn't be comprehensible to them. (3.) Formula storyline of dad who has a secret life of chasing spies or whatever while family thinks he's a petroleum geologist. Stereotypic family of nerdy teen son (who else to figure out computer code); angry teen daughter for emotional coloring; gruff agency boss; Russian or whatever bad guys. We are told repeatedly that the kids take lots of AP classes. Are we promoting how smart they are or is it white middle class bragging. (4.) Usual Hollywood script writers fake intelligence speak with lines like Clandestine Activities Division (CAD); Covert Intelligence Operative (CIO). CAD headquarters is shown as the usual lots of computer monitors with HUD reticles as the cool visual but looks so dated. (5.) The only action scene occurs in the beginning with our dad-agent chasing someone performs two somersault rolls for no reason then jumps on the back of bad guy riding a motor bike all while talking to his wife on his cell phone. Another key scene (15 seconds is all this took) is when his teen son breaks a computer password by figuring out that if he adds two specific family birthdates together then divides by another certain family birthdate then that is the password. Unbelievable as well as dumb. (6.) Predictable; family rescues dad and bad guys get caught. No one dies or gets hurt - too dirty. Mostly cheap location shots if you like a couple of rooms and a couple of streets with shops as backdrop.

Positive: This conditioned consumer is heading off to Wal Mart to buy a P&G; a frozen dinner and a Pepsi.