Bikini Spring Brake Massaker

Watching bad horror movies is like my favorite pastime but some movies are just so bad that they aren't even fun to watch. And yes, this is one of those movies.

The problem is that this is a very self aware movie. It deliberately tries to be bad and like a B-movie, which often is an approach that doesn't work out too well for these type of movies and make them annoying, rather than fun and entertaining, as clearly also is being the case for this movie.

The movie definitely doesn't play out as a serious and straightforward slasher. It's taking more of a comedy approach, with as a problem that none of the comedy is very good or clever. The movie its most fun moments are its cameo's by cult figures, such as the awesome Beetlejuice, Ron Jeremy and Sal Governale. But of course cameos can't save a movie and I think I would had actually preferred this movie done as a straightforward slasher. That way the movie at least would had been something more entertaining and thrilling to watch and might had resulted in some better gore and killings as well. There is now far more nudity than gore or blood in this movie really.

Everything in this movie gets extremely exaggerated, which gets truly tiresome after a while. I got fed up with this movie, about halfway through and it did absolutely nothing to ever win me back.

The movie is also definitely lacking a good and likable main character in it. It's all over the place with its story and characters, as if the film-makers were having a bit too much of a good time shooting this movie, which went at the expensive of the quality and eventual end result. It's not really following a good and clear enough main storyline, which only makes the movie more annoying to watch.

Really, I can truly appreciate the passion craftsmanship that went into a bad horror production but I just can't respect or like a movie that deliberately tries to come across as a silly and bad B-movie flick. It just feels far too forced and desperate, making the movie a far from good or fun one to watch.

3/10

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What possessed me to rent this flick?I'm not per-say a T&A fan nor do I dig the current trough of contemporary,no-budget comedy/thrillers that pop-up on Thriller channel (say like "Andre the Butcher"-utter dreck which also features the ubiquitous Ron Jeremy).Or maybe it was Howard Stern regulars Beetlejuice and Sal the Stockbroker,a little but not really. Actually it was one-time scream queen Linnea Quigley that drew me to this,being a loooooong time fan of hers. She barely makes a cameo but it's nice to see her having a good time with her sparse material (playing a dive-Tiki bar owner with a fake Austrailian accent).I thought I would turn the disc off at that point,but I was pleasantly surprised.

The plot's pretty slasher-flick formula stuff.A straight-laced Christian girl joins her much more rowdy gal pals on a jaunt to a sparsely-populated Daytona for spring break.All the while,the hot-to-trot girls a stalked by a monk-like serial killer with a cherubic mask(a reference to "Valentine" maybe?).

Even someone with Beetlejuice's intelligence can figure out the killer's identity,even the weak plot twist at the end(a reference to "Scream 3" maybe?).But what matters is that you'll have fun getting there due to some truly inspired comic timing.Could this have been a better movie? Sure,with 60 x's the budget....but don't let that detract you,believe me,I've seen worse.

Like I said,a bigger budget would've improved this and the performances,while not Oscar caliber,are at least tolerable.The lead actress Katie Peterson is attractive and likable and the tantalizing Stewart and Whitford are hilariously bitchy.Other notables include ex-WWE great Jerry Lawlor as the goony sheriff,and the aforementioned Sal the Stockbroker,Beetlejuice,and as himself,Ron Jeremy,who curses aloud that he won't get his paycheck after the mayhem starts.

So rent this,get some brews,invite your frat bros to your dorm room and have a blast. I guarantee this'll put a smile on your face and it's 500x's better than "Piranha 2DD",which is more deserving of a 3.6% rating(no,actually lower)than "Girls Gone Dead".

Part of me was semi-intrigued, being someone who is no stranger to slasher films and has liked quite a lot and the idea interested me somewhat despite being ridiculous. A large part of me was apprehensive though, having heard it was not good and that it looked like one of those cheap and overdone films with a muddled tone.

Which, when watching it, was what 'Girls Gone Dead' essentially was. It is not a complete waste of time. It is also a long way from a good film as well. 'Girls Gone Dead' may not have insulted my intelligence and there are certainly far worse films. However, if it was trying to entertain, scare or both, 'Girls Gone Dead' failed quite badly on both counts, making the film, despite a few decent things, a chore to sit through. Am not hating or trying to be malicious, it is just my genuine stance on a film that didn't do anything for me as well as many others.

'Girls Gone Dead' doesn't look too awful, the photography and editing are not award-worthy but neither are too amateurish in quality. Some of the music is catchy.

The best thing are a couple of the cameos. In particular Beetlejuice and Sal injecting a much needed trashy charm.

However, the rest of the acting, from particularly the leads, is both overplayed and stiff. In all fairness they were hindered by hammy direction, constantly awkward and limp dialogue and that the film has no interesting or likeable character whatsoever.

The script is childish, flabby and even improvisatory-sounding. The story is not much of one and takes forever to get going, when it finally does it is not for long and it is too late to care. 'Girls Gone Dead' seemed like a comedy mixed with slasher horror, and over-emphasises the comedy too much.

Sadly, the comedy is not even close to being strong enough to make this imbalance not matter, it is completely witless, childish and so overdone it gets exhausting. The more horror-like elements are a long way from tense or suspenseful, generating little interest even. The kills were not creative and would go as far to say they were too tame, while the things there to by the film's definition "spice things up" (especially the nudity) came over as gratuitous and abused.

Overall, weak with nothing wild or killer. 3/10 Bethany Cox

As a life long howard stern fan i had to watch this movie after spotting beetlejuice on the cover. for those of you that don't know he is the black midget with the tiny head on the cover and he is a beyond retarded person.

So right off the bat i am gonna tell you this movie blows big time. i am sure you already suspected that but you are reading the reviews to find out just how much it sucks and if it is so bad it ends up being good. sorry that is not the case.

the movie is about an hour and 45 mins but it feels like 4 hours of torture. honestly i didn't see the whole movie because at 1 point i started reading a magazine then later i was browsing the internet. it was all i could do to get through the movie.

im gonna list a few things that weren't bad because that's easier. the soundtrack, although it had no recognizable songs (except shack your ass bitch, from the stern show) the ones i heard were good. jerry lawler's performance was passable. not great but much better then everyone else. lots and lots of titties but they are porn stars so who really cares? the special effects aka the blood and guts were the only thing done right in this movie considering what it cost to make.

now the really bad. the sheer amount of head shaking in this movie makes me want to shake my head. and there is a part at the end (if you make it that far) where the girls are squatting repeatedly in fear, i am not sure anybody really directed this movie. the background or ambient music is stock or public domain because i know I've heard it in other bad low budget movies. horns and flutes and so on. there is nothing original or special about this movie.

i say skip it unless you got some buddies over and you want to play a drinking game involving drinking when you see head shakes or boobs.

Is this the worst flick I've ever happened to view? no is it good? no. The very beginning seems promising enough(confusing shameful church sacrifice dream) there's some gore, but then we play into the rest of the movie.

What's good about it - the production value is pretty decent but only slightly better than some late night skinemax weekend movies. there's cameos by Ron Jeremy and beetlejuice(which even lowbrow his lines are funny) and Jerry the King Luller from WWE fame

Okay, so what's not good about it. Other than the opening sequence, it takes damn near half an hour for anything sinister to remotely happen. the girls' acting ranges from mediocre to subpar(even for a bmovie) I kept having to tell myself I'm too far in an need to just power through. this is even with gratuitous shots of breasts mixed in. No spoilers but the killer to me seemed easily identified to anyone who cared to wonder who's actually doing all the killing (I mean they didn't even throw in an obligatory red herring!) I want the last hour and a half of my life back.