Night Claws

This is what I would call an utterly formulaic, check-the-box kind of movie.

Dumb as a bag of hammer's sheriff who steadfastly refuses to accept the evidence? Check .

Hot-headed, belligerent idiot who wants to pick fights with everyone else in the movie? Check.

Air-headed, sweet-natured bimbo married to hot-headed idiot? Check.

Tough-as-nails female character, a la Ripley from Alien? Check.

Vigilante mob who wants to storm the forest to kill the monster? Check.

Brassy, smart collegiate "expert" to clash with the dumb as a bag of hammers sheriff? Check.

It's as though the creative time behind this movie went out of their way to include every cliche character archetype from every horror movie ever in this movie. I am a fan of good "bad" horror movies. This isn't one of those. The biggest horror about this movie was that it was made, at all.

NIGHT CLAWS opens with two amorous young people being turned into human salsa by the hairy horror of the title! The next day, we're introduced to Sheriff Joe Kelly (schlock omni-god, Reb Brown!), and his deputy, Roberta Glickman (Sherrie Rose). Police are stumped as they sift through the various body parts.

Meanwhile, a trio of hunters are tracking the creature, and a group on a survival training hike are introduced. Many deaths ensue, as the hunters are hunted and the hikers find survival to be... difficult. This Bigfoot isn't just deadly, it's fast!

Enter Professor Sarah Evans (Leilani Sarelle), who has been sent in by the government to assist Kelly and company.

Oh my!

A group of local youths have decided to have a beer bash in the woods! Will anyone be around to be hungover in the morning?

As killer yeti movies go, this one isn't a total disgrace. After all, what are we expecting, Macbeth? The monster isn't all that terrifying, but gets the job done. Gorehounds will be ecstatic over its gushy attacks! The twist near the end is trumpeted a bit too soon, but still works well enough.

Watch for Frank Stallone in a cameo....

Well, what can be said about "Night Claws"? For starters, then it really seemed like a movie that should have been made in the late 1980's, because it had that distinct late 80's horror feel to it. And is that good or bad? Well, in a sense it was nostalgic, but entertainment-wise, then it made the movie come off as a joke.

The story in "Night Claws" is about some Big Foot creature terrorizing a forest. It is a vicious and bloodthirsty creature that kills just about any sentient creature that ventures into the forest. Why? Well for no apparent reason. It just kills because it can. There is very little meat on the storyline for this movie, which made it even more hard to sit through and not fall asleep.

Let's move on to the acting. Where was it? The people in this movie were so unenthusiastic that it was just downright ridiculous. The performances put on by the actors and actresses in this movie was just horrible to behold. There wasn't a single memorable performance here.

So what worked for the movie? Well, oddly enough, the Big Foot wasn't actually that shabby to look at, the few times you actually got to see it, which was far in between, mind you. And the music wasn't too bad either, though at times it sounded like something from a horror musical of sorts.

I am giving "Night Claws" a 3/10 rating solely based on the design of the Big Foot creature and the 1980's feel there was to the movie, because everything else was not really worth mentioning.

Goofballs in the woods try to figure out what happened to a couple of dumbbells who died violently last night.

Lots of talk and other bulls**t. It takes a long time for more of these in-bred scumbags to buy it, and predictably, there's no monster to be found. Why do all these half-wit directors make the same kinds of movies? They want to create, but all they do is regurgitate. Jesus, take a lesson from my words, you greasy dildos.

Just another small-time attempt to cash in on interesting subject matter, followed up with just another small-time failure.

Avoid this tripe. Go to YouTube and watch the Leonard Nimoy 'In Search Of' episode about Bigfoot instead.

This movie tried to bring in a lot of plot points and twists and random, movie-cliché junk. It was as if it was trying to be multiple different movies whilst simultaneously failing at all of them. Not worth the watch.