Volcano 2 - Feuerinferno in Miami

I seem to be dredging the bottom of the barrel with these SyFy Channel TV disaster movies. I thought things couldn't get any worse than the horrible JET STREAM, and now I've watched Miami MAGMA (aka SWAMP VOLCANO) and I discover that yes, it's just as poor and almost entirely without merit. It says something when the best thing about a movie is its title.

First off, for viewers hoping to see Florida getting destroyed by an erupting volcano, you'll be disappointed: the disaster stuff is kept off-screen for the most part here. There are a few scenes of smoke clouds and flowing lava, but when I say few I mean it: they're few and far between and skipped over in favour of the usual, cheap, big-company-conspiracy plot as some oil drillers chase after a whistleblower threatening to reveal the truth about their dark dealings.

The characters are one-dimensional and the acting not much better; the only familiar face they could get on board here was Brad Dourif, playing a suited bigwig who has a handful of scenes. Add in the usual bad dialogue and poor effects and you have a complete waste of time.

Sometimes you just want to watch a terrible TV movie sci-fi romp, you know? The average SyFy feature is roughly on par with anything The Asylum produces, whether they're specifically involved or not, and so the quality generally ranges from "half decent" to "abhorrent." This isn't to pointedly denigrate the work of anyone involved; recognizable, respected names and faces often become involved with such fare for an easy paycheck, and the effort they turn in will match the broad tenor of the project. The details hardly even matter, for we know exactly what to expect, and with rare exceptions it's exactly what we'll get: weak acting, ham-fisted scene writing and direction, questionable dialogue, trifling characterizations, antagonistic figures more or less responsible for or complicit in the course of events, a loose foundation in real scientific concepts that then blithely goes off the rails, special effects that raise a skeptical eyebrow, music that can be easily copied and pasted into any similar title, and action, violence, or otherwise tense sequences that are less than wholly convincing or meaningful. To this add admirable themes of extreme capitalist malfeasance and corporate corruption, and mismanagement and destruction of the environment, that are surely not treated well by their connection to such a picture. I could just as easily be talking about one of dozens or even hundreds of other films aside from 'Miami magma,' but here we are.

I don't think this is abjectly terrible. In the very least, I've sadly seen far worse. But at best this is largely indistinguishable from countless other low-grade sci-fi romps. Moreover, so very much of this is outrageously forced and contrived, in many ways, dampening the basic entertainment value and the worth of its best ideas (e.g. Secondary dangers of gas, chemicals, and steam, and the idea that's barely touched upon of awful people enlisting in the military). That's to say nothing of how the screenplay feels fundamentally imbalanced between the central conceit of volcanic activity, and the additional facet of individuals with culpability in the course of events; despite the name of the picture, it doesn't seem to come into play as much as one would assume. The end result is still marginally enjoyable, a baseline satisfactory diversion for those who are receptive to the most ridiculous of B-movies. Yet even the greatest generosity one could muster can't paint over the substantial deficiencies and inelegance that are built into the feature like debris laid into the foundation of a building; there's a select audience who can in any way appreciate this, and even then it will be a matter of hate-watching more than anything else.

I'm glad that this at least put dinner on the table for the folks who participated in its creation. If you're looking for a movie of this nature, you could do worse. Maybe it's for the best if earnest assessment of 'Miami magma' begins and ends there.

Miami Magma is about as good as you'd expect from a TV disaster movie: It isn't very good. There's a big asterisk here. As a low-budget endeavor, with inherently low expectations, there's a chance of being relatively good. Not as in the cult classic line, "So bad, it's good"; rather, the more respectable, "It isn't that bad," so it's good.

The plot moves the standard volcano scenario out of the usual places, all the way to South Florida. This is a way to keep it fresh, most likely. The opportunity is somewhat wasted. Miami culture, real or stereotyped, barely figures-in except for an ill-fated Spring Break beach party. (This intends to set some sort of subplot, but the film proceeds to forget about the clever survivor). The city scenes clearly were not shot in Miami judging from the trees.

The unlikely location is rationalized well. The plot starts with Dr. Antoinette Vitrini (Rachel Hunter), a college professor who isn't taken seriously in her research suggesting the Gulf of Mexico is a giant caldera pulsing with magma. Enter evil oil company. The only thing more dangerous than an evil oil company is an evil oil company drilling into a secret supervolcano, in a world where regulation is nowhere to be found. It's easy work covering-up a sunken oil rig and passing-off the CEO's self-destruction in a manic steam accident as a heart attack. (The authorities either missed the scorched corpse and witness who watched it happen, or they don't exist - more likely the latter in this Miami.) Until now a quiet voice of conscience, the CEO'S lackey engineer Ray Miller (Cleavant Derricks) quickly sells out to the Board, which also happens to be evil, and becomes consummately awful. Because why not?

Isolated fissures and steam events occur throughout Miami, roasting characters who are introduced just to be roasted. Antoinette, her ex-husband Brad (J. D. Evermore), flirtatious sister Emily (Melissa Ordway), and research wiz/unwitting chick magnet Brandon (Griff Furst) embark on a mission to thwart Evil Oil Company's illegal projects before the city blows. The writing is quite good as the plot escalates. Tracking devices, traitors, imposters, arson, helicopters, kidnappings, ransoms, shootouts in factories loaded with dangerous chemicals. It's all here. The final drama is not found cliché self-sacrifice, but one character's dignified redemption. It has touch, maybe even soul.

Miami Magma is full of faults and incongruities. The ominous background music will not shut up, even during inane conversations. There aren't enough extras panicking about the coming cataclysm, making us rely on the scramble of our heroes to remember anything is going on. Most of the effects are created by smoke machines and cheesy fire animations. All this can be forgiven in a B-list disaster movie.

Interestingly, the inherent genre and money-enforced limitations of Miami Magma help make it a competent movie. It is priced out of effects-crazy excitement; the boneheaded kind where one can't even tell what is going on, just that the situation is bad, very bad. Miami Magma relies, instead, on solid performances by the actors and a credible script. No, it isn't high art. Yes, it's built on blatant unrealism. But you basically know what you're getting when you sit down in your armchair to watch something like this. This film gives you your time's worth.

Only in America ... The SciFi Channel turns out rubbish endlessly ... Some of them so bad they are funny ... But unfortunately most of them are just bad This is the zenith of their product ... 90 moronic minutes of complete rubbish with not one second of humour ( even unintentional ) ... This is truly one of the worst films I have ever seen ... The writing and character development must of been plotted out by one of the producers fourteen year old kids on the way to the studio The thing is about these things, when I read them, I tend to think it can't be that bad ... The person must have a humour bypass or something ... But believe me ... Don't waste even a second on this flat, stupid, badly acted,piece of digital effluent ... Don't even down load it for free ... It is just film spam

Movies can be made with many purposes in mind: to entertain, to provoke, to express or elicit emotion. This movie neither failed, nor succeeded in any of these categories to a great degree.

The acting was serviceable, neither good nor laughable. The script failed to register any response or provoke any emotion. The camera work was...decent? Ok? The packing was solid though, never sticking in one place or on one scene for very long. The only parts that were enjoyable were the three or four truly schlocky moments, which are what people watch disaster movies for. Those ranged from, "That doesn't work that way." to "Yes! Hole! Through! The chest!" The effects are suitably TV movie level and thus, the most ironically enjoyable part of the film.

Neither painful to sit through, nor enjoyable enough to sit through again, nor recommend it.