Snake Hotel

Right, well with a title such as "Snake Hotel", and given the movie's cover, I must admit that I was expecting this movie from director Charles Solly to be in the likes of the many, many monstrous creature features that have been spewing out of the Chinese cinema these last couple of years.

However, it was not. Nay, instead I was treated to a very slow paced movie about prisoners being used as pawns in a game where they serve as fodder for a giant, mutated snake. Sure, the premise sounds interesting enough, except that writers Harry Boxley, Charles Solly and James Solly completely botched the formula and "Snake Hotel" ended up being a slow paced, boring and generic viewing experience.

There were a couple of familiar faces on the cast list, though I wouldn't be able to name the two ladies even if my life counted on it. But I have seen enough low budget and dubious movies and that is where I have seen them before. Yeah, you're not in for an evening of Shakespearian theater when you sit down to watch a movie like "Snake Hotel", but then again, would you expect to be? The acting performances in the movie were adequate enough, taking into consideration the limitations imposed on the actresses and actors from a subpar script.

Visually then "Snake Hotel" crashed and burnt. The CGI rendered snakes looked like some discarded CGI rendering from a 1990s computer game. It is simply beyond my comprehension how such poor and laughable CGI can get green-lighted in 2023.

This movie came and went without leaving a lasting impression. And if you enjoy creature features, don't bother wasting your time, money or effort on this movie from director Charles Solly.

In fact, the best thing about "Snake Hotel" was actually the cover/poster, which over-sold the movie by a million times. The snakes in the movie look nothing like that, and there is not that kind of action to be found throughout the course of the 84 minutes that the movie ran for.

My rating of "Snake Hotel" lands on a two out of ten stars.

Stuck in an all-female prison, inmates are gathered together and offered a chance at a shorter sentence if they're willing to participate in a strange game conducted by a mysterious benefactor, but when they realize it's being held at a mansion overrun by massive snakes must try to get away alive.

Overall, this is a rather enjoyable enough genre effort. One of the finer aspects to be had here is the film's fun setup that provides a more than worthy setup for this type of cheesy creature feature. The initial starting point with the group of inmates shown to be quite at odds with each other while they're set in the facility and then offered the controversial chance at freedom with the mysterious game they can partake in to get that chance at freedom buys this a generally fun start here. With the devious nature of the mysterious owner is also given credence with the way they go about the gathering of the girls as their ability to undermine the sleazy warden and alien-like behavior does this all quite nicely as well for a solid enough opening setup. That gives way to the usual standard cheesy creature attacks once the girls are thrust into the game and everything starts to get spelled out. As we've already got an idea of what's going on with the opening attack on the victims in the mainstay hotel, there's a sense of the type of content on display here which is what happens in the rest of the attacks. Relying on the idea of continuous shock ambushes where the creatures can pop out of the darkness and chase the screaming victims through the various rooms and hallways of the massive house, the use of cheesy setpieces where the snakes are put through their paces where the usual effects-work is present in fine form. As this all has a fun atmosphere present, it provides a lot to like even if this one does have some drawbacks that bring it down. The main issue here is the rather strange lack of interest derived from the girls who are playing the game as it's hard to care about any of them. Despite the setup of them getting wrapped up in this strange game being played, the fact that we get to know next to nothing about them due to the setup here rushing them out to the hotel and getting them to be chased by the snakes means that all we get in terms of a name to a face is one quick sequence showing them being selected for the program. If that's glossed over, attaching a name to a face is not going to happen, and the interpersonal relationships of everyone since that does get brought up here as well make for a disconnected experience during the film. As well, there's also the strange way that this one manages to bring about some unnecessary storylines during the game that aren't necessary. A major plot point involving one of the guards trying to help one of the women get through the night is just brought up out of nowhere and flies in the complete face of what the training has shown them to be, especially since it happens immediately with very little brush-back. Likewise, a bit involving some drama between several of the girls from their prison terms involving personal drama that spills over into fighting each other throughout the house as it's unappealing and unrealistic that they'd continue acting this way in the situation. These factors are what end up holding this back the most.

Rated Unrated/R: Extreme Graphic Language and Graphic Violence.

Oh it was terrible, but the fun kind of terrible. Like if you love bad horror, and want to see bad CGI snakes eat people in a hotel, then it's going to be a fun watch. Some of the "TV effects" look like they're from a computer game even. I had fun, because it was bad horror entertaining.

The downside is there is a issue with sound quality, and the main bad guy is especially bad sound quality wise, because of the way she delivers her lines.

Some of the characters have just copyright dodging lines about other snake films, and other cheesy lines. The acting is a mixed bag, some characters had fun and really sold it. Others were decent enough.