Vamperifica: The King is Coming Out

Vampire and werewolf movies are my favorite kind of movies. There are lots of really crappy movies in the genre, so I've seen quite a few really bad ones, but this one is easily 10 times as ridiculously bad as the next worst. There is literally no redeeming feature in this steaming, wet, turd of a flick. Nobody involved in the entire production did a good job of anything. Everyone associated should find a new career in an unrelated field and never be allowed to return to a job in any part of the entertainment industry. I recommend that nobody ever watch this, even if offered money or sexual favors for doing so. I wish that I could unwatch it. I played computer solitaire while watching it for free, and still hated it enough to write this long, silly ass review just to warn you. The only reason I got through it was because I couldn't find the remote to watch something else. I tried to leave the room, but was forced to return to keep my rottweiler from stealing the giant bag of crunchy cheetos which I had left behind in my haste. I threw things, in futile hope of knocking the tv off of its stand so that I could end the misery. Oh, the horror.

I thought a comedy horror film about a flamboyant gay vampire would be fun and boy was I wrong. The writing and acting on this movie were terrible.

The main reason the film flops is because the main character is just so dislike able. There is nothing nice about him. As a result the audience feels no empathy towards him and can't relate to him and so the audience just doesn't care what happens to him.

This subject matter could have been so much better if handled by someone like John Walters, if they had camped up the humour and gone over the top on it.

All in all a truly terrible film, don't waste your life on it.

Struggling to fulfill his dream of being an actor, an effeminate college student discovers he has a Vampire King's spirit inside him and tries to withhold the urges to bite his best friends while his cronies try to help him with the transformation.

This here was a total waste and really has very little that's enjoyable about it. One of the main issues here is that it's got way too much of a vanity-project feel that's completely unwarranted due to the main character's completely irritating and aggravating personality who feels he's warranted and deserving of unadorned praise and worship despite clearly not being seen as deserving of any of it then ranting and raving about it in hysterical fits of expressed rage. That this constitutes the comedy in the movie is hardly appealing at all and makes for quite an exasperating time getting involved in the film to begin with as the change-over occurs far too late in the movie to make it an impressive feat. The change-over transformation does bring about some decidedly- decent horror offerings in a couple nice kills and some atmospheric segments that are quite enjoyable, but overall there's just not enough to overcome the fundamental problem of getting invested in this one, and it really could've been something with it's more serious finale that has a few nice action scenes. Overall, though, this is a pretty tough one to get interested in.

Rated R: Graphic Language and Graphic Violence.

I must admit that I actually don't know why I sat down to watch this movie, because I just knew that it was going to be one of those stinkers. And true enough, "Vamperifica" turned out to be a movie totally devoid of luster and appeal.

Now, I knew that chances were high that the movie would prove to be a disaster, but still, there was just something oddly funny and campy enough about the movie cover/poster, that I actually made a conscious decision to give the movie a chance.

I managed to actually sit through 45 minutes of this ordeal of a movie before I just gave up. I sat through it that long with the hope that the movie would pick up and become something better, that it was perhaps just a slow starter. But that was not the case.

The movie, at least all of the 45 minutes that I sat through, were tremendously boring, with nothing interesting happening at all. And it didn't help one bit that the characters were all essentially as interesting as wet cardboard. The characters in the movie lacked personalities, quirks, traits, or anything else that would differentiate them from one another and make them somewhat interesting to the audience.

The acting in the movie, was every bit as to be expected from a movie such as this. So at least in that department the movie did manage to deliver.

Labeled as a horror comedy, "Vamperifica" failed to deliver anything noteworthy on both those genres.

This is definitely not a movie that I will ever return to finish watching, because there was absolutely nothing interesting about this movie whatsoever.

I wish I could have rated zero stars. I watch like 15 minutes, I can't get that time back.