Die Beilight Saga: Breaking Wind - Bis(s) einer heult

"This is all because of me...I'm the center of the...me, me, me!!!" This is a spoof of the "Twilight" series. Spoofing parts of all 4 movies as well as many others. I have to start by saying that I am not a "Twilight" fan at all. I thought "Breaking Dawn - Part 1" was OK but the other ones I fell asleep in. I open with that to say that I would rather watch a marathon of all of them before watching this again. Most spoofs add parts of other movies in a spot where they make sense. This one felt like in the middle of a scene they were like...put this in, most of the time it didn't make sense. During a fight scene all of Johnny Depp's characters come out for no apparent reason. I thought that "Vampires Suck" was OK, but this was not. The only good thing is the very end when they show actual peoples reactions to watching trailers for ""Eclipse" and I only cracked a smile at that part. Overall, unless you like watching people fart and poop a lot I would avoid this one. I did however think the fact that they made Jacob a fat guy was kinda neat. This is not a good movie at all though. I give it a D+.

Breaking Wind...(sigh) Knowing that this movie is supposedly a spoof of the Twilight Saga, I thought that this COULD have been a decent comedy, like Vampires Suck. Now don't get me wrong, Vampires Suck was a horrible movie, but if you just have fun with it, Vampires Suck will have a few chuckles with you.

But Breaking Wind is just bland and unfunny. I kept saying to myself, "Don't be serious, it's a comedy", but not even Danny Trejo saved this piece of crap.

If you think that I'm being to harsh for a spoof movie, think again. There are literally fart jokes every 5 goddamn minutes. Who the hell in their right mind would think fart jokes are funny? The writers must have been retarded.

But their is a silver lining though. And that's Jacob, or more specifically, Fat Jacob. I don't know why but I just found him funny. It must be because he's fat. Hmmm.

Overall, a very crappy movie. Why the producers would think to finance this movie is beyond me. Didn't they even bother to read the script? And why the hell are the Johnny Depp characters in this? Ran out of ideas, probably.

I won't go into any details. The movie is called Breaking Wind for a reason. I could have made a better spoof of Twilight with a smart phone. This is the first review I have ever written because I felt compelled to warn people that they may in fact have a stroke during this pile of trash. The spoofs of old, like Airplane and The Naked Gun have given way to the worst of the worst, and this movie is so bad I do not even have a word for it. I assume this movie is like going through drug withdrawals because I was in the floor in brutal pain and agony. I made it to the end without croaking, but it was close. If you plan on watching this, then have an oxygen tank ready along with speed dial to 911 in case of impending death.

OK, so I just made an account to do you a favor & let you know, that this movie, absolutely, SUCKS BIGTIME! It is actually worse than any part of twilight, it is not funny, it is not sexy, it is just lame & disgusting.

To begin with, it isn't just a parody of Breaking Dawn, it is a parody of various chosen scenes of Twilight 1-4. And the irony is that it covers the least content from Breaking Dawn. But that doesn't really matter, because nothing could save this crap of a movie. Most of it's "funny" scenes are about farting or large penis/vagina jokes. Clothed sex scenes. And lame cameraman-knock-on-the-actors-face scenes. There was just one or two funny scenes that made me laugh, but they weren't worth the rest of the crap.

Don't waste your time with this, watch literally anything else.

This movie sucks. I didn't laugh once. I'm so tired of these horrible "Scary Movie" knock off parodies. Leave it to the Wayans brothers please.