The Hills Have Thighs

"The Hills Have Eyes" gets the Skinimax treatment in this softie spoof.

Bountifully blessed babes are preying on the men crazy enough to set foot near their desolate hillside home where 50 years ago nuclear testing left the are desolate. Some friends go after another friend who was kidnapped and forced to pleasure these insatiable wild women mutants and fall under the spell of "The Hills Have Thighs". Random boffing and crap-tacular music happen at regular intervals. Most are guaranteed to make you laugh or wince. If plasticized beauties and horrid acting are your thing than this one may be for you. But if you are allergic to gratuitous spoofing and monster life preservers than avoid like the plague.

The Hills Have Thighs is Jim Wynorski's latest late night Cinemax T&A flick and conforms pretty well to his past outings. A hiker becomes lost in the wilderness and comes across sexually insatiable mutant cave women who hold him captive for their carnal enjoyment. Two couples that are friends of his go off to try to find and save him, unaware of his true predicament.

No time is wasted getting right into the good bits, with two cave women immediately ravishing the unsuspecting hiker. If they could bottle whatever mutated the cave women to look like this, it would put every plastic surgeon in Los Angeles out of business. I have not seen breasts as impressively pumped up as Kylee Nash's since the days of Shae Marks and Pandora Peaks in Andy Sidaris's old spy softcore erotica.

All of Julie K. Smith's scenes are amazing as usual. Kylee Nash's scene by the bonfire is easily my favorite in the film and I hope to see her in more in the future. Disappointments were Glori-Anne Gilbert's scene being recycled old footage from a past film (the dreaded flashback scene) and Dianna Terranova, while attractive, not actually getting naked and involved in any of the scenes other than just dancing around. Overall, though, the film is definitely a success for the genre, and is my favorite of Wynorski's parody themed late night romps since The Breastford Wives.

I've always been fond of Julie K. Smith, but it's the visuals of being shot in the Californian desert that elevate this standard T&A pic 'The Hills Have Thighs' from director Jim Wynorski. Kylee Nash's huge boobs were a treat too I won't lie, but that doesn't change the fact that this is a strictly by the numbers experience.

When their friend goes missing hiking and the authorities can't find him, two couples Ben (Frankie Cullen) & Mary (Smith) and Mike (Mark Weiler) & Sandy (Brandin Rackley) go searching for him themselves. It means hotel sex, desert sex, dream sequence sex, flashback sex, sex with the cavewomen (Nash, Rebecca Love, Dana Bentley) who have him kept sex hostage.

There's one obvious bit of cheapness on display - they reuse Glori-Anne Gilbert's sex scene with Cullen from 'Witches of Breastwick' - but the unique location allows this to be a slight step up from the usual low energy formula and the cast look to be having fun. It's still your tame mix of boobs & fake sex coming in at a brisk 70 minutes so I can't rate it higher. Don't read too much into the spoof parody title neither.

The Hills Have Thighs (2010)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

A man goes hiking through the Alabama Hills where he runs into some wild women who come onto him sexually. A month passes and the man hasn't returned back to his normal life so four friends decide to go looking for him. Whenever the four aren't having sex they are looking for their missing friend and soon they run into the sex-starved ladies.

As the fun and clever title gives away, this here is basically a softcore version of THE HILLS HAVE EYES. No matter what you think of the softcore genre you've got to at least admit that this is a great title. Cult director Jim Wynorski wrote and directed this film under the name Salvadore Ross but no matter what name he's working under he has always been able to make a fun "B" picture.

Obviously, if you're not a fan of these types of softcore movies then it's probably best you don't waste your money on it but if you are a fan then you're going to know Wynorski's name and I'd say you'll get some entertainment out of this. Julie K. Smith is good and dependable as usual and there's a terrific sequence with Kylee Nash in front of an amazing fire. I'd say that a lot of people are going to agree that this here was the highlight of the film. It should go without saying but there are beautiful ladies running around naked throughout the film and that's certainly what people are going to be drawn to.

With that said, I must admit that I was really shocked at how terrific the cinematography was and there's no question that the Alabama Hills setting was perfect. The scenery in these types of movies are usually just the ladies but the various locations here are also terrific and I'm sure many people will be looking at those snow covered mountains just as much as the other mountains bouncing around.

This movie ended up creating quite a lot of controversy when it turned out the title was already in use by an amateur film maker who made a non-erotic movie, and his subsequent threats to sue Wynorski for this film.

I'm not sure how much extra publicity the controversy might have created for this version of The Hills Have Thighs, but I'm guessing that even with a different name it would have held up on its own very well.

Unlike a lot of recent softcore movies, where they stack the cast with hardcore girls taking a day off from penetration, they used almost entirely non-hardcore talent here which was a major breath of fresh air. The one exception, Rebecca Love, almost doesn't count as a hardcore girl as she can actually act unlike most of them and really seems to enjoy these kinds of movies.

Kylee Nash, playing the leader of the cave girls, was incredibly hot. The film leaves you with no idea if she can act more than a prehistoric grunt, but she makes up for the lack of dialogue the cave girls get with her eye popping figure. Her scene by the bonfire was not only very sexy, it bordered on actually being somewhat artistic.

Julie K. Smith was great as well, especially in her scene with Frankie Cullen. The leg warmers she wore in this scene were such sexy costuming and they really added a lot. I'm not a fan of the tattoos she's acquired, but she's still very sexy.

Brandin Rackley is attractive, and will appeal to a lot of people, but for me personally it's kind of amazing how she fades into the background when the much larger chested Julie K. Smith, Kylee Nash, and Rebecca Love are around.

One last mention must be made of Diana Terranova. She appears to be more of a "legitimate" actress, which is kind of a shame in a way, because she's gorgeous and I would love to see her do a lot more than dance around during orgy scenes.