Norm - König der Arktis

"Norm of the North" to me looked like a nice, fun family movie, but when I watched it, it was full of total garbage. If I had to, I wouldn't even give it a rating. It was so bad. The lemmings (rip-offs of minions) are so annoying, they pee everywhere and are very disgusting. The movie was poorly animated and very boring. This movie has some gay jokes, which aren't appropriate for a pg film.

Good lord.... god almighty.

Words cannot describe this heinous disaster that Lionsgate have given us.

I can't imagine what the producers were even thinking.

Were they laughing in our faces when they sneaked it into the theatres?

Or were they crying in shame at what they had just made?

Chances are it's the first answer.

I just can't explain how bad this so called "animated comedy" is.

First of all, there is no comedy.

No gags.

No jokes.

No nothing.

Just a bunch of miserable unfunny things going on that the writers call "funny". Not even Tommy Cooper would be laughing at anything this film has to offer.

Then there isn't a plot to be found.

Well actually I lied, there is a plot somewhere. But once you dig deep into the surface like Nicolas Cage going insane over a decades old bike, you'll find it's a plot you've seen before. (Case in point Madagascar, one of the films you should instead watch)

There isn't any animation here either.

Well again there is but it's straight to DVD quality. Everyone moves jerky, the art style feels lame, the colour palate is typical. This "thing" certainly won't be giving any other straight to DVD animated films nightmares anytime soon.

There isn't any characters, just walking dead lifeless fossils doing things. And nearly all of them are annoying as the heavens above.

No voices too. What we got is constant shouting, yelling and pain from these actors.

Rob Schenider should know better than to keep putting his name on stuff like this. Ken Jeong is as grating as he's ever been and I didn't give two craps about anyone else.

And how dare they waste Bill Nighy too?

Charlie Adler, Jess Harnell and a couple other well-known voice-actors are there too but even this film isn't one of their finest hours.

Hold on, why did I just call it a film?

It isn't one.

It's a humorous black hole that'll suck the life out of you and your family if you dare watch it.

It's the antichrist of animation, a disaster so unbearable, you'll might even die of horror watching the bloody thing.

And the fact it's produced by the same person who did Superted (Mike Young) just terrifies me to almost no end.

Just how did he put his name onto this?

Just how?

Even the voice directing feels non-existent and when it's got Buster Bunny (Charlie Adler) and Oshawott (Lisa Ortiz) trying their best yet it still isn't there, you deserve all the scorn your film gets.

I hope you're happy Splash Entertainment and Lionsgate.

I really hope you are.

Why? WHY?? WHY??? What was LionsGate thinking?? Clearly they were high when they thought of making this film. I'm not kidding, the movie is notorious! It even got a 2/10 review!! Norm, the main character, tries to protect his homeland. The arctic. But Norm...BOY There's SO MANY LEVELS OF WRONG WHEN IT COMES TO HIM. Like the number 1 problem that makes me cringe is his dance. He twerks. O_O. Speechless. ABSOLUTE SPEECHLESS! There's a scene where he has a mp3 player and FREAKING SHAKES HIS BUTT IN FRONT OF THE SCREEN!!! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT!!! HE CALLS IT, THE FREAKING "ARTIC SHAKE!!! HE ALSO TWERKED IN ONCE SCENE WERE NORM WAS DANCING IN FRONT OF THESE ANIMALS!!! Clearly LionsGate was high when they made those scenes. Some people like his butt shake, but I digress. THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE BY MAN KIND!!!!!

Garbage. Trash. Abysmal. Pointless, directionless, painful, disappointing, tasteless, meaningless, meandering, gag-me-with-a-spoon, terrible beyond compare, slide me down a razor blade into a vat of iodine instead of making me watch this tripe again, just plain old "Bad".

Nope. Can't find it. Can't find the word or phrase.

I have been burgled of 40 minutes (that's all I could tolerate before I covertly left the room to register for IMDb solely to write this review) and I would like it back. I would go through my divorce again if it meant I didn't have to watch a minute of this crap ever... ever again.

*sob* It's really that bad, folks. A bunch of drunk kids throwing darts at the old plot board made this sucker a painful reality. Random, totally random.

I love animated films... having kids gave me a happy excuse to watch them all again and to live through the new ones in their company. But this drags the whole genre down to... to... well, the bottom. Of a really, really, deep hole.

Nope. Didn't like it. I feel bad for the people that wrote positive reviews and have to live with that shame every day. Shame on you all.

Have fun... with anything else. :-)

I have seen some stuff over the years but this one has got to be the most cheap sluggish tastless ugly stupid annoying silly peace of crap I have ever seen on a screen in my entire life. The kind of people who make these kind if things... I dont even know. I am so upset and sad.