You Hurt My Feelings

Well, I sat down for this one trusting A24, and it delivered more than what I asked for. It's a pretty simple drama alright, with conflicts not carrying the greatest of stakes. There's a sense of softness to the leads here, and they are, by nature, "good people". While it wouldn't have worked if that aspect was shoved down our throats, but the writing is careful when it comes to its subtleties. The lead performances are also great; the relationship equations between Beth and Don, Beth and Sarah, Mark and Sarah, the daughters' relationship with their mother, the couple's relationship with their young son - each of these were adequately portrayed. I loved the few scenes featuring the feisty, opinionated, and encouraging mother (Jeannie Berlin).

The other beautiful scene is the one where the couple resolve their key issue, and the dialogues are especially well-written in this portion. It's a realization that shared journeys (of life) mean a lot more than individual journeys. It's natural for spouses to think that they're unconditionally supporting each other in their efforts, but sometimes, it's difficult to convey your opinion without even hurting them in the slightest. All that said, there were a few elements that didn't exactly work, such as the badly sketched robbery scene and the one where Don randomly suggests a solution to a patient's family issue. But that shouldn't stop you from checking the film out. It has Julia LD reuniting with writer-director Nicole Holofcener after Enough Said, in a very candid role.

If you like Julia Louis-Dreyfus or Tobias Menzies, you may find this enjoyable to watch, as both do a fine job with their roles. Otherwise, this will seem like a slow way to spend a couple hours. The plot wanders around searching for a dramatic climax or a storyline that leads somewhere. However, it doesn't get anywhere in particular. It's much like a comedy routine that just wanders from one story to another. Not too surprising, as Julia Louis-Dreyfus helped make "Seinfeld" the somewhat chaotic program it was. Funny, often, but as a movie, it leaves me wanting a more structured story.

A better title would have helped too. Something more like, "How we offend people when trying to be supportive" would have been illustrative, albeit not as pithy. The one theme that did seem to be reinforced was scenery of New York, especially as experienced by privileged people. That was interesting for about 30 minutes, but then the movie needed to deliver more message, if it had hopes of being satisfying. I rate it a 5 for the fine acting of the leading characters, but no higher for lacking a better script and story development. The result looked like it needed refining to clearly communicate a message.

Write about what you know. That's the advice Beth (Julie Louis-Dreyfuss) dispenses to her writing students. It's also pretty much the path Writer-Director Nicole Holofcener has followed in her six feature films. Her stories center on urban upper middle class professionals.

Beth is an author who's latest novel hasn't sold yet and it's causing her some stress. Her husband, Don (Tobias Menzies), is a therapist who is also having some career doubts. They have a son (Owen Teague) who wants to be a playwright. Beth's sister, Sarah (Michaela Watkins), is an interior decorator who is becoming disenchanted with her work. Her husband Mark (Arian Moayed) is struggling actor. Plenty of first world angst to go around.

Holofcener and her cast are good enough to overcome some of the familiar tropes here and the theme of how to tread the line between honesty and (hurting one's) feelings is decently explored. David Cross and Amber Tamblyn as a passive aggressive couple in Don's care are terrific scene stealers. What's missing here is true bite. There's never a sense of either urgency or sharp insights. One never feels that any of the interlocking relationships are truly in peril. A hug, a kiss, or a hit of edible marijuana and all will be fine.

YOU HURT MY FEELINGS is a pleasant enough little movie, but, it's the epitome of a 'dramedy'- it falls just short of either of it's components.

The issue of how we, if not lie, fib to our loved ones in order to either spare their feelings or be supportive. And the consequences of that well-intentioned lack of honesty are thoughtfully dramatized, as are the family dynamics between spouses, parents and children, and siblings. But even at a short (by today's standards) 90 minutes, the movie feels overlong, and while there is an occasional laugh, the entertainment quotient is disappointingly low given the talents of the parties involved. Bottom line: a worthwhile watch if one's expectations are very measured. And much more of a family drama than a comedy.

You seem to so often see in reviews a statement along the lines of "don't believe the low scores" when there is a generalised trashing of a film. You watch the film based on the fairly sane sounding good reviews and find indeed it wasn't really bad at all.

Everyone's taste is their own and I wouldn't want to watch films like this everyday but it's a delightful, slow-paced, droll, witty and warm delight.

There's no killer plot but it's not saccharin either. The characters are warm and quirky, the humour wry and knowing. People had fun, me included, no-one was hurt.

Really good effort, like a good evening with friends.

Recommended.