To Die Is Hard

Only one man can take on the challenge of stopping a band of ruthless criminals who have taken hostages (well, one) at a Denver college campus. That man is...an English professor?!? Made by a small crew and a very game cast, "To Die is Hard" trots out every cliché of the genre and then amps each one to the Nth degree. The supportive cop in cell phone-contact with the lone hero? He spends his time dancing and eating cookies. The criminal mastermind? Wears glasses, goes by the name of Anton and forces info from an innocent woman by speaking in a monotone. The gang of thugs? So evil they don't notice the shirtless stud of a teacher stalking them from some very obvious hiding places. The loving wife and daughter? Spending the day daydreaming about our hero and his sexual charisma--YES, BOTH OF THEM. Many laughs to be had, not to mention great camera-work, inspired performances, funny songs and slapping. Lots of slapping.

There are a number of words that come to mind for me when I think of what it was like to watch "To Die is Hard." Fun, goofy, and hilarious are a few of them. Yes, it's not "Citizen Kane," but then neither are films like "Airplane" and "The Naked Gun," yet those are still fantastic films. "To Die is Hard" is similar to those films in flavor.

It's apparent the film doesn't take itself too seriously. Between the slapping, the goofy fascination the lead character's wife and daughter have for him, and the way the lead character is shown running in slow motion while topless to show off every jiggle of his middle-aged flabbiness, this film is made simply to give the viewer a few laughs and an enjoyable hour and a half. "To Die is Hard" delivers on both accounts.

sigh!

Some English professor saves the school from a gang of villains. He is adored by many and clearly is in love with himself. The writer/director of the movie must be in love with himself too, as plays the main character.

I saw this on the marquee of my local indie theater and decided to check it out, BIG MISTAKE. One of the worst movies I have ever seen, I am not sure who would think this is funny.

Who ever wrote the first review on this must have been part of the movie crew, because I cannot imagine anyone else enjoying this.

Plain and simple this movie tries too hard. The acting sucks, the camera work sucks, and the story-line sucks. Not a spoof anymore just stupid.

The craft of film making may be missing it only at points in this masterpiece for disillusioned men, perhaps specifically college educated middle aged. An engaging film true to the male perspective.

Having no experience in the film industry, at many points during this film I spent time researching how to get this a cinematic release nationally, but had to remind myself to keep watching to respect the art.

When confronted by petty concerns of acting, lighting, perhaps even make up the sheer talent and unparalleled commitment to the vision our leading man drives this film home in through the satiation we all demand from action.

To Die Is Hard is just fun. This isn't a film that will change your life but it will keep you entertained from start to finish.

I would honestly watch this film before most parody films, the jokes are original, the stakes are fun, and writer/director/star Glenn Berggoetz knows exactly what he's making, a low budget and fun send up of traditional 80s action films.

When Bruce Willis did Die Hard people said he didn't have the physique for action, if they'd seen Glenn Berggoetz they would have changed their tune. Glenn is the actual everyman action hero.

Don't go into this expecting it to be life changing but go in expecting to have a dumb good time.