I Am Here.... Now

Have you ever seen a movie and been like, This is a load of garbage. Well that is the same with I Am Here... Now. It is shot terribly the plot is convoluted and not well planned. But it has to be seen to be believed and believe it or not this is a film that can make you laugh, I highly recommend it and watch it with a friend, it makes the viewing experience way more fun!

I Am Here... Now is greatest movie since Neil Breen's last greatest achievement, Double Down. Seriously though, those movies are objectively bad, but they transcend their badness so much you have genuinely enjoyment during watching. Definitely watch this movie with friends and alcohol.

Movie itself is very fascinating psychic study of Neil Breen himself. His obvious God complex joined with very black-and-white looking at the world through the lenses of ideology - in every scene you have somebody obviously good or obviously bad, and good people are in exposition as environmental activists, and evil people are corrupted government officials (which they state themselves) who are blocking clean energy just to get more money. All of this is joined together with two women protagonists, from which one develops romantic and erotic interest with Neil Breen, without exchanging one word with him.

Neil Breen is creating a self-insert-Mary-Sue-protagonist fanfic, but he came much further than posting his work of art in form of text into the internet. He created series of developed movies with almost non-existent budget. It's really something. If you are into so-bad-it's-good cinema, you should give him a try.

This man should be arrested. Apparently it is too short to submit. So he should be arrested and sentenced to at least 10 years in prison.

Not to be a complete grammar snob, but I hope Neil Breen knows an ellipsis is three dots, not four.

So.... (Three dots) have you ever had a dream so awesome you felt like you should write it down and make a movie? Then, you tell a friend about it and they tell you it is a crap story? Well, I think Neil Breen had that dream but never let anyone scan over the story before making into a movie.

He DID improve upon his movie-making skills since Double Down. This film relied far less on royalty-free footage and music and actually seemed to include scenes filmed directly for the movie, not for a 3-2-1 Contact segment from 1981 as In his prior film.

On the other hand, my "compliment" is akin to saying that a kid's 4th grade art project is better than their 3rd grade art project. How someone can be so egotistical to write, star in, direct, produce, and even CATER their own movie is beyond my self-loathing comprehension. I, as a Midwestern middle class woman have the same access to equipment, money, software, and acting talent as Mr. Breen. Yet, I choose not to make a movie showcasing my mediocre talent. However, does that make me smart OR does that make Neil Breen brave. Only the viewer can decide...

Yes, it's a challenge just to sit through this crazy thing, and the thoughts it provokes are, What the hell? Why are there doll heads in the desert? Did that dolphin just poop? Do all the women in Las Vegas wear those spaghetti strap blouses with the two top buttons open to show their chests? Couldn't they get any actors for this? Why do they use the same scream over and over? What's with the monster mask? Why, why why am I watching this? SO MANY QUESTIONS. Writer, Producer and Director Neil Breen stars as a space Jesus who comes to Earth in a glass paperweight to check up on his failed experiment - humanity. The corrupt politicians and lying lawyers play out their efforts to hamper the development of sustainable energy systems in halting stilted monologues. Economic conditions force people into crime, dismemberment and depravity, and the space Jesus makes the bad guys bleed from their eyes for menacing a cancer patient in a wheelchair. I wouldn't be fool enough to compare this unique creation with anything else - it's created a whole new reality for itself. It's like a metaphor - FOR LIFE. I only hope we are ready when Neil Breen's glass paperweight returns once more to Earth.