Tötet Katie Malone

What will our badly-tattooed friend who can't even grow a moustache do? I watched Kill Katie Malone for one reason: Masiela Lusha was starring in a horror movie. And it was real bad (though she wasn't... but I'm biased).

Where do I begin? First, every character is obnoxious. I'm not sure why so much modern horror is populated with unlikeable characters. I suppose this had an interesting premise, which quickly devolved into another variation of The Monkey's Paw. Three college students pool their money to buy a supposed ghost trapped inside a box online (from the generic company "uBid," and, similarly, we don't see anyone dressed as a "character" all Halloween long). Hey, it grants wishes! So they let the ghost out, get terrorized, and people around them start turning up dead (only in the most comical ways).

The ghost leaves a message written on our two best buds' wall, and one guy takes a picture of it, and sends it to a friend, who is apparently the only person he knows competent enough to Google something in a foreign language. Did I mention this guy is in college? I don't know if the dialogue was poorly written, or if some actors actually botched their lines and they left them in, but this movie has some rather odd dialogue. And it is lazily written. The competing bidder (somebody's concept of a Goth) on the box is suddenly all-knowing, all-seeing? Well, she did have impeccable timing! That's a good thing she did. I laughed at the end.

The title doesn't even make any sense. Katie Malone is the ghost. She's already dead!

Masiela turns up in leather shorts, fishnet stockings, and tall high-heeled boots for the climax. I don't know who she was dressed as for the Halloween party (class skank?), but that's enough for me, and warrants an extra star. Hey, I'm easy!

Two guys and a girl are tickled pink to discover a ghost for sale on eBay. Apparently the ghost is capable of granting wishes. One of the dudes simply can't resist placing a bid, with a little contribution from his buddy. A package soon arrives containing what seems to be nothing more than an old jewelery box with a crappy locket inside. Obviously the locket holds a photo of Katie Malone. Suddenly people on campus are mysteriously dropping like flies. It's almost as if they're possessed by some masochistic entity. Some average acting leads us through a series of mildly creepy moments... ... ... you know what? I don't even know why I watch this crap let alone review it. There's not even any boobs... except Dean Cain! Run away!

Check out my IMDb List for some better suggestions. "HORROR/THRILLER: Obscure, Overlooked & Underrated" http://www.imdb.com/list/8QFZ78e4Ar8/

A trio of college pals merge their funds for an unusual online auction purchase...an 18th century box which houses the malevolent spirit of a murdered Irish servant girl. When the box is opened, the ghost is set free, and predictable carnage ensues.

KILL KATIE MALONE brings little to the table, but it's a satisfactory little product, nonetheless. Performances from the key players are a notch or two above the yardstick, and their characters are surprisingly developed. This is pretty subtle stuff for contemporary horror, though not entirely ineffective...I actually rather liked the way it skirted explicit visual shocks for a more veiled, spectral puissance.

All in all, a slightly higher quality production than the flat material really deserves.

5/10.

Prior to actually switching on the movie, this had promise. The premise that somebody might buy a ghost on eBay (or the copyright friendly film version of YouBid) interested me and I was eager to see how the story unfolded.

Unfortunately, a promising idea has been sold out to the tune of yet another college/teen horror thriller where a bunch of attractive American teenagers spend half the film running around a college or dorm from some kind of terrifying something that wants to kill them. Feel free to replace terrifying something with 'murderous ghost', 'axe wielding maniac', 'Freddy Kreuger' or whatever. It doesn't matter. The play out is the same and we've all seen it a million times before.

Direction is typically brash and predictable, akin to an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with less camp. Our protagonists make all the usual horror movie victim mistakes and the haphazard introduction of the haunting is far too over-the-top. Too much is shown too soon and the inevitable killing scenes are silly to the point of absurd.

There's really nothing new here. An original idea is squandered for the sake of a safe return on the budget (one assumes). The result is something forgettable and bland.

After thinking they've purchased a gag-gift on an internet auction, a group of friends find their new toy actually contains a malicious ghost who stops at nothing to interfere with the outside forces amongst the group, forcing them to find a way of dealing with the angry spirit.

This turned out to be a rather enjoyable entry. One of the biggest pluses here is the fairly different take on the killer-ghost genre, with the ability thrown in that ghosts can be contained into an object and then used as what amounts to genies from the legend, a unique concept that does some good work here. The fact that this tends to go for long periods of time trying to set up points where the interaction become necessary is a bit of contention, since the film's not really that interesting in those periods and not a lot goes on worth getting excited about, but the decent amount of gore in the kills and a pretty tense number of confrontations throughout the storyline definitely save it and make it pretty entertaining.

Rated R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language.