Maneater

Well, truth be told, I must admit that I was lured into watching the 2022 movie "Maneater" on three accounts. The first being that this was a shark movie; I do like shark movies, despite most of them being dubious. Secondly, the movie's cover looked interesting. And thirdly, this was a movie that I hadn't already seen.

Granted, I wasn't really harboring much of any high hopes for this shark movie from writer and director Justin Lee, as the majority of the shark movies out there tend to have overly dramatic and cool-looking covers, but the contents of the movie itself is rubbish. But I opted to give "Maneater" the benefit of the doubt.

Sure "Maneater" was watchable, but it was a rather generic shark movie, for better or worse. I mean, it could have been a worse movie experience, as many of the shark movies out there tend to be, but luckily writer and director Justin Lee managed to put together something that was enjoyable enough for what it turned out to be. Sure, you're not in a for a new "Jaws" movie here, but it was a fair enough attempt at a shark movie.

The acting performances in the movie were adequate, but of course for a movie such as "Maneater", then you know you're not in for award-winning movie performances. I was only familiar with Trace Adkins and Jeff Fahey in this movie.

Visually then "Maneater" was okay. Some of the shark scenes were quite good, while others had some rather questionable CGI animation going on. But all in all, the effects in "Maneater" were fair enough to carry the movie.

If you enjoy shark movies, then "Maneater" could be worth your time. I enjoyed it adequately enough.

My rating of "Maneater" lands on a five out of ten stars.

Was this a movie, or a cinematic music video?

The music was TOO LOUD! I couldn't hear a word the actors were saying, because all I could hear was some Mariah Carey wannabe, belting out vocals loud enough to wake the dead!

Even when there was no singing, the music in the background was unbelievably loud, drowning out everything.

For obvious reasons, turning the volume up made it worse. I couldn't get passed the 10-minute mark for this exact reason. I don't feel too bad though, as the film looked gash anyway...and after reading reviews on here, it's clear I dodged a bullet!

In summary: THE. MUSIC. WAS. TOO. LOUD.

I mean, what happened? This guy was Michael in Nikita, had a bunch of starring films and now all he does are awful DTV CGI films! He needs to start taking roles that are more risky. This has to be the ugliest shark in the history of cinema. The guy still looks great, has talent, but seems to be in it for the cash. He's the male Eliza Dushku at this point.

Hopefully better movies are on the way. It's been dud after dud and he could do better.

The location was the best part of the whole film.

The CGI shark is atrocious and there are entire CGI sequences like the floating dead body in the water that made this feel like it was an episode of LEXX.

It doesn't get much more unrealistic than this movie. There were absolutely no attempts made to make the shark and shark attacks look real, and one of the main characters blatantly flirts with a taken man right in front of his significant other. This is essentially a cheesy slasher film with a shark replacing a human serial killer. At one point, just like in your typical horror movie, two people go off alone for obviously scandalous reasons and somehow their friends don't notice they're missing right away. And of course one of these people were explicitly told not to go in the water, but of course they do.

Yessirree y'all, the redneck saves the day, gawdammit!

The acting and script in this much-hyped film is absolutely atrocious. Why Jeff Fahey signed up for it beats me, maybe he has money troubles.

We're led to believe that these people are stranded on this island, with no hope of rescue, but every time there's a wider camera shot there's loads of boats around!

The CGI shark is amazing, able to change it size and shape at will.

The island paradise this film is set in is supposedly off Hawaii, but could well be Bognor, as it's as grey, windy and dark as a British summer.

Our hero, Harlan, struggles to speak discernable English, and is to acting as freezing water is to an erection.

Sadly, yet another film in the 'why did they bother' category.