Noah's Shark

I'm definitely gave this movie a very best review. The act are awesome, CGI is top notch, very well made. You won't regret it, very entertaining movies ever. Very sharp and wit script. Very best ever. This really made my day. Better than any MCU movies.

Right, well I knew this movie was going to be bad. But still, I opted to sit down and watch what writer John Oak Dalton and director Mark Polonia had to offer with the 2021 movie titled "Noah's Shark". And sure, while the title is bad, it was still a fun pun on Noah's ark.

And the movie's cover was actually looking fun enough, so there might be an odd chance that the movie would be one of those shark movie that are so bad that they actually become fun and enjoyable to watch. But no. "Noah's Shark" was not one such movie.

"Noah's Shark" is a downright horrible movie and a laughable attempt at making a shark movie. I didn't even make it halfway through before I gave up on this stinker of a movie. Yeah, the storyline was that bad, and the effects were that bad. And not even bad in a fun way. No, just pure and simply bad. Just what was writer John Oak Dalton thinking when sitting down to write the script and plot for this movie?

The movie's cover/poster was actually the best thing about the entire ordeal.

I was not familiar with a single actor or actress that performed in the movie, nor had I been missing out on a great thing here.

My rating of "Noah's Shark" lands on a one out of ten stars. There are lots of bad shark movies out there, but "Noah's Shark" floats right to the top five of bad shark movies ever made.

I am so disappointed in this. I came in with low expectations and somehow they were not only not met, but missed so poorly i can't put it into words. The lead actor, curly hair big nose, was dismal. He had no business being anywhere near a movie. Not acting, writing, editing, directing, even seeing a movie or a commercial for one on TV. I hated him in Jurassic Shark 2: Aquapocalypse, which was WAY BETTER THAN THIS! And I still hate him. Nobody wants to act. The woman who was the "arms dealer" or whatever can't deliver a line without laughing or do anything for that matter without cracking a smile. The budget, if there was one, couldn't have been higher than a KFC family meal and a fifth of Jack Daniels. This, is without a doubt, the worst film ever. Not just the worst in the PCU (Polonia Cinematic Universe), but the worst film to ever disgrace a screen.

It has an Ark. It has a shark. And cgi to compete with Vultures of Horror.

Can't wait for Noah, Heath, and Eli to do their thing to this movie.

Seems like a great contender for God Awful Movies.

The story is mildly interesting, but the amateurish production design makes this a movie that could have maybe been "So Bad It's Good" just plain bad.