Empress Vampire

This has to be one of the worst films I have ever seen in my life. From the pathetic storyline to the awful dialogue. It surpasses the b movies of the 50's and 60's ... even the creeping carpet had a good sound track. I had to watch it in two sittings, the first one I thought ... I cant take any more of this, the second, lets's see if it redeems itself with some humour. Sadly that didn't materialise.

People giving this low ratings aren't giving this enough credit. You have to rate this based on what it is - it's not a big budget studio production. But they still managed to have an interesting story, plenty of nudity, and even some interesting musical numbers. Yes, this believe it or not, this is a musical!

Ok, the acting is terrible and the secretary of defense looks like he's 30 years old. But I enjoyed it a lot.

I'm always digging for b-horror movies, it's one of the great things on the world wide web. That said, the filmmakers on the set of "Aleta: Empress Vampire" seemed to have low expectations in the audience they would attract. 10 minutes into this simple yet over explained plot, I felt like an idiot for hitting 'play'. I just thought the idea of mixing some Chinese history into the cliche vampire story could be interesting and if all else failed at least there were boobs ( the boobs were the sole reason I gave it 2 stars instead of 1, judge me if you want but look where you are, why are you reading this?). Writing wise, there was only one moment in the movie, during Aleta's backstory, where I thought 'interesting', the rest I just felt disrespected as an audience member. Here's my list of technical issues I found too distracting to stay focused; the camera man has clearly never watched a movie or tv (nor the director for that matter), most of the special effects were obviously added in post, there were no sound effects just whatever the mic picked up, the fake accents were really bad and completely unnecessary, the acting is pretty much what you would expect...I could go on but I wouldn't want to spoil all the "fun". The things the director seemed to care about didn't make any sense and the things the director should have cared about he didn't at all because the audience will probably be too dumb to notice. I guess the issue is on my side of the screen because I know how the laces in my shoes work and I don't drool when I talk. If they tried to make this funny it could have worked, there were some unintentionally funny moments that made me wish the "filmmakers" didn't take themselves so seriously. I find it hard to believe that everybody behind the camera was proud of this one.

That's my honest opinion, I'm not going to tell you what to do.

Watched on tubiTV, 2019.

This is the kind of film that will likely go viral at some point for it's campiness and nerds will be hanging pictures of the empress on their mom's basement walls.

If you like B-movies this one is for you, it's got everything you'd expect from a low budget horror-comedy. Boobs, butts and bad lines. I'm guessing it was produced to be dubbed in Chinese, as there were a few scenes where the lips didn't sync up. I wonder if they enjoyed it in China as much as I did here!

Kudos to Ange Maya, it's a shame she passed away, she might have ran this into a series. With a bigger budget it likely could have gone further but it was definitely worth the watch as is.

The people complaining about special effects are clearly missing the point, I laughed out loud at some of the kill scenes, they're hilariously terrible which added to the appeal. Horror-comedys aren't supposed to have cutting edge realism. I also enjoyed some of the music, which was actually pretty good but stayed true to the shoe string budget theme.

The story here is basically the origin story of an immortal vampire, and how she operates in the modern day. As stories go it isn't incredibly original, but it also isn't played-out, either. The plot could well be behind any number of Hollywood blockbusters.

This isn't quite an indy film, though, it's made by Sick Puppy Pictures. So there's a budget, albeit not huge. The production values aren't amateur. The picture and sound are clear, and the costuming and makeup are effective.

The real weaknesses of this movie are partly in the script and, sadly, partly in some of the cast. The script is elaborate and meanders, as it needs must with such a plot. Unfortunately the dialogue can come off as stilted and uninspired at several points. And the cast is an uneven mix of experienced actors who deliver their lines with precision (if not always passion), and actors who are as stilted as the dialogue. And there is the slight issue of a language barrier; Ange Maya was born in China, and seems to speak her native tongue fluently and with passion. Unfortunately her broken English, though technically correct, is too slow to flow smoothly with the emotions her character is supposed to be experiencing.

On the positive side, there are a lot of good mechanics in film making demonstrated here. Camera work, sound, even the special effects, though cheesy, show promise. A good script paired with this great crew and even the cast of this movie could make for a very good story and delivery. The more salacious positive of this film is the abundance of clearly-posed, well-lit female nudity. It is gratuitous and blatant, but a just compensation for some painfully- awkward dialogue and convoluted plot. I hope that Ange Maya is getting voice lessons, as there are glimpses of competent acting in this film.