Dark Tide

If this would've been a documentary, I would've been full of praise. Beautiful pictures, even those without Halle Berry in them, and great environment. Unfortunately I cannot judge this just by those underwater shots. I have to also rate the dialog and the story. Both of which lack a lot, not only in comparison to the scenery.

Halle Berry and her love interest in this are annoying to the point they make the real bad guy look like the only sane person in this thing. And that is just because he has a clear goal, nothing will get him off that. But our heroes? Better not ask. Especially because their answer will bore and/or annoy you to death. I love Halle, but only watching this because of her or the sharks has to be a decision only you can make ... don't count on an intriguing story though!

What possessed someone with Halle Berry's acting chops to take on this very tepid melodrama is anyones guess.

The film starts out promisingly enough with a suspenseful shark attack that delivers the goods, but quickly degenerates in soap-opera-ish melodrama that never really engages or interests the viewer on any level.

Berry phones in her performance on this show, and whilst some of the cinematography is beautiful I certainly didn't see $25 million on screen. It all just reeks a little of missed opportunity to me. I can see why the film was relegated to the DVD bargain bin in so many territories.

While Dark Tide isn't a terrible film, it's certainly not a good one either.

A feeble 4...

Shouldn't there be some kind of protective Union to help prevent poor defenseless animals from appearing in stupid and embarrassing movies? I mean, actors and actress are supposed to be smart enough and decide for themselves whether or not a horrible scenario will negatively affect their careers (I'm looking at you, Halle Berry), but animals can't read clumsy scenarios! The sharks in "Dark Tide", for instance, are truly some of the most beautiful creatures Mother Nature brought forward, yet their astonishing appearance is criminally abused here in this dumb, exaggeratedly clichéd, dull and incompetent film. Amazing animals like these only belong in masterful documentaries or, as rare as they are, in qualitative adventure movies. Luckily enough – for my own personal anger management program, at least – I watched "Dark Tide" with the absolute lowest expectations imaginable, and that's all thanks to the fact I noticed the name of the director from beforehand. John Stockwell isn't a real filmmaker; he's a wannabe with an unhealthy fetish for famous actresses in colorful bikinis on the posters of his films! Kate Bosworth in "Blue Crush", Jessica Alba in "Into the Blue", half a dozen of sexy chicks in "Turistas" and now Halle Berry in "Dark Tide". The only recurring aspects that draw attention are the bikinis on the cover. I don't know John, but it's becoming rather difficult to convince us that you want to be seen as a serious director. The plot of "Dark Tide" features the dullest of stereotypes in the cast (traumatized heroes, obnoxious businessmen dying from cancer …) and immediately reverts to the worst clichés (troubled father-son relationships, heroine facing her demons…). The only thing worse than the dialogs are the miscast actors and actresses citing them. None of the cast members display any sort of conviction or emotion, and why should they? It's nothing but sheer nonsense anyway. If you do, however, make the mistake to watch "Dark Tide" you can at least enjoy the Cape Town filming locations and the shark footage.

I suppose I can give Dark Tide some credit for its realistic, non manipulative depiction of the great white shark. This is certainly no monster movie. So what kind of movie is it then?

Dark Tide would have to qualify as an adventure drama, or rather an anti adventure drama. It seems that each time director John Stockwell goes seaward with a production, the movies get progressively worse. Into the Blue, was entertaining, but certainly dumb. Blue Crush, was dumb and unentertaining. This latest movie is just confused and almost devoid of any reason to watch it.

I return to my point about Dark Tide not being a horror film. So why then are the characters deliberately as uninteresting and obnoxious as the cast of any Friday the 13th sequel. Halle Berry is playing the kind of half-assed, adolescent role that I'm used to seeing Jennifer Lopez play. Dark Tide gives you an idea of how far she has fallen in the last ten years. She is sleeping with the fishes.

The movie lumbers along for a good hour, with nothing except the quality of its underwater photography (getting you nose to nose with twenty foot sharks) to keep you in your seat. The characters exchange lines of sloppy dialogue and do silly things, until it's time for distaster to strike, in the last half hour. It's fair to say that Stockwell manages to generate some suspense in the climax, but he stretches it out too long, and the camera work is disorienting.

The whole thing doesn't work. It lacks direction, intelligence, and professional acting. For all I know, Dark Tide may just have been an excuse for Stockwell to go diving in South Africa with the sharks and leave the storyline behind.

.... and wishing they'd arrive soon and gobble up the entire cast of this terminally boring movie. But, alas, they didn't; and the thing dragged on and on interminably... until, after what felt like an eternity, it finally reached its always predictable, anticlimactic climax.

What can we say about the cast? It would perhaps be more accurate to describe them as the miscast. Halle Berry looks great. If I went through what she went through in this movie I'd look like something the cat brought in. But even at her most artistically bedraggled, Berry looks as if she could just slip into a D&G dress and sashay down the catwalk in Paris or Milan. Boat skippers have wind-washed complexions. Throughout this movie Berry always looks as if she could have just stepped out of the beauty parlor, with her perfect eye-liner, her manicured nails and her perfect tan. Her hair gets tousled every now and then, but that's about the extent of her dishevelment. If they wanted me to believe that she was the head of a model agency, or the editor of a woman's magazine, I might have bought it. But a shark expert who spends half her life on a boat? No way, Jose. And the rest of the miscast were no more believable.

In fairness, the cinematography was excellent. The sharks were great, too. But they arrived about an hour and twenty minutes too late, for which they will not be lightly forgiven by anyone who got suckered into wasting 94 minutes of their life watching this god awful movie.