The Dinner Party

Take a bottle of the best sleeping medication you could find. Give it a movie budget and an editing bank and that bottle of sleeping pills could churn out something much more exciting than this movie. It's not thrilling, it's not dark, and it put me off having Dinner Parties ever again because it was so boring. There was nothing in it that suggested it was a thriller. I think someone tried to poison people, but that could've just been me hoping someone poisoned me so I wouldn't have to watch this movie anymore. I could handle it being bad, bad movies are still sometimes worth seeing because they're so bad. But no, the acting is OK, it looks half decent, everything is just OK, but that's the problem. It's blandly OK, no one excels, no one bombs. Everything is so one note that there's nothing to read into this other than they just were bored.

The cover art I saw had a picture of 2 people at a table, both dead, one shot in the head and the other also at least mortally wounded. The quote on the cover called it "A Brilliant Psychological Thriller". I would've loved to have seen that movie, it would've been great. What I got was a limp drama with a murder in it somewhere but I don't remember where because it was so bland and tensionless that it didn't stick with me. Whoever called this a Brilliant Psychological Thriller needs to go look those 3 words up in a dictionary, and then bash their heads in with that same book just to ensure they know what those words mean.

As an Australian, a citizen of the nation that made this film, I apologise. I apologise that we let you see this and that we didn't just make The Loved Ones 2 which would've been infinitely better than this. We are sorry and hope that you can forgive our misdeed of making this film, we knew not what we did and we hope not to do it again.