The Expedition

I don't like giving negative reviews but I had to for this movie. Dear god this is the worst thing I ever ever seen in my life. (And yes I have seen Two Girls One Cup) If someone gave me the choice between watching this movie and ripping out one of my fingernails I would pull the nail, hell I might ever put a screw through my hand with a regular screwdriver to avoid watching this ever again. As mentioned in a previous review there are terrible cut scenes where they just have like 6 different types of phones ringing in the background. The only good thing I can think to say about this movie is that if it was made to make people want to kill themselves because they made a poor enough decision to watch it than they did a great job.

You have no idea! I don't even know where to start. I am a horror aficionado. Horror movies are the only type of movie I usually watch. I'm also fairly kind in reviewing horror movies, and try to accentuate the positive pieces in them. I can almost always find something positive in even the weakest of horror movies. There was nothing positive about this movie. I can easily say it was the worst horror movie I have ever seen. No, really, I'm serious. People walking around for over an hour with roughly half of the script being the F word. There was not one scary scene, one scary moment, one scary anything. The film can be summed up by saying, some folks walk around A deserted building saying, "What the F!" Over and over and over and over and, well, you get the idea. I wouldn't rate this movie over a 1. If possible, it would be a fraction, not a whole number.

Here's the bottom line up front: an endless walking tour of a large abandoned building, in daylight, with NO scares (and I literally mean NONE, as in, not a single one), and a guy who alternates between yelling "Tom!" and "F*ck(ing)..." all backed by the most tedious, repetitive background piano music you have EVER HEARD. It's as if some twenty- somethings with a video camera just decided to walk through an old building, talk a few times, and just videotape their walk through.

I honestly don't know what else to say other than the movie is one of the few that actually seems to go out of its way to provide an example of how NOT to make a movie. It seems to want to commit film suicide and take the cast and crew with it. I'd be shocked if the writer ever worked again. That he couldn't write a script and instead needed to drop F-bombs to make up for his lack of talent is really staggering. There should be a drinking game to accompany any viewing of this - one drink for every f- bomb. But beware - you'll be legally intoxicated in the first 10 minutes. And in a coma in 15.

Seriously. That's the whole movie.

RENT OR BUY AT YOUR OWN RISK. You have been warned. I hope this helps!

I know the term "worst movie ever" is used loosely around IMDb (some even use it to describe 'Avatar'), but as an avid horror movie fan, I think I might have found my new "worst movie ever".

5 friends go into an abandoned asylum/hospital around Halloween with cameras in tow a la Blair Witch, they walk around the place through 98% of the movie...an OVERLY LONG 1 hr 47 minutes of NOTHING going on....I mean NOTHING...just people with cameras walking around, to the same "spooky" piano music looped over & over & over & over (& over). The intercut police station scenes?! What a riot! Does anyone pick up the phones in that place?? The ringing phones actually drown out the detective's dialog...I'm NOT kidding. The dialog is also outstanding, such as "Its my job, I'm a detective, I detect"..no, I don't think it was MEANT to be camp, a failed attempt at humor...probably.

If I had one pro to mention, its the abandoned location, but a location alone cannot save a crappy movie! I'd recommend to stay far, FAAAR away! Its more entertaining to watch paint dry! Nigel Hartwell's filmmaking career should END for making such a HORRIBLY BORING film!