Invasion of the Empire of the Apes

Right, well given the title of this movie and the movie's cover, I have to say that I harbored zero expectations from it. And had I taken a second to look up the movie on IMDb before sitting down to watch it, I would have noticed that it was a Mark Polonia movie and given the movie a wide berth.

The storyline in "Invasion of the Empire of the Apes" is garbage. Pure and simple. This is low budget trash at its purest form.

The acting performances in the movie are as questionable and bad as the movie in general, so at least that counted for something. I have watched enough low budget crap to actually be familiar with actress Jamie Ann Morgan and actor Jeff Kirkendall in this movie.

The props in the movie were something that looked like they purchased from Wish. And the movie was filmed in someone's back yard and inside a small room. It was just not good to look at. And the costumes were also from Wish, the movie makers didn't even bother trying to paint the actors around the eyes, you know, the ones wearing the fake plastic ape masks. It was so bad.

On the upside, if you enjoy pointless nudity and nonsense storylines, then you're in for a treat, should you opt to sit down and watch "Invasion of the Empire of the Apes".

Needless to say that my rating of director Mark Polonia's 2021 movie "Invasion of the Empire of the Apes" lands on a one out of ten stars. And that is me being generous here.

In the ever-growing pantheon of bad movies and intentional B-movies, 'Invasion' (not calling it by it's full name) is a hard film to define because it does SO much wrong that you wonder if the bad stuff was intentional or if the filmmakers weren't self-aware of their very apparent lack of storytelling finesse. Well, intentional or not, this B-movie is a Herculean task of endurance and what-the-f@ck moments that it boggles the mind with its hilariously inept screenplay and non-acting 'actors', and the dreadful special effects.

'Invasion' is an impressive feat of awful filmmaking that it sadly gives this kind of filmmaking an even worse reputation than it already had. Where does the awfulness stop here? It's comparable to Birdemic and The Amazing Bulk in terms of the Z-tier filmmaking and editing. Yet it's almost 'beautifully bad'. This couldn't have been non-ironic... it just can't be. The sheer amount of non-thinking and spur-of-the-moment decisions suddenly becoming a binding thing for this movie couldn't have possibly been what happened behind the scenes (or maybe all that non-planning really DID happen).

'Invasion' is masterfully awful trite that needs to be seen to be believed. It's THAT horrible. I almost can't give it an actual rating it's that horrific. All I have to say to the filmmakers: kudos for making quite possibly the worst film ever made.

Super low budget is no surprise, but it's also super low quality, super low everything.

An obvious Planet of the Apes ripoff that manages to be worse than the Japanese knockoffs.

Seemingly filmed with cellphone cameras, with a cast of unknowns. The ape costumes are so poor you can easily see the pale skinned people underneath them.

One point added for OK if really old looking animation.

The low point of the film is a scene almost showing ape human sex, with a nude Black woman trying to sexually excite an ape.