Friedhof der Kuscheltiere: Bloodlines

Plot

In 1969 a young Jud Crandall and his childhood friends band together to confront an ancient evil that has gripped their hometown of Ludlow.

Cast

Mostly mediocre, we do however get Henry "ET" Thomas, David Duchovny, Samantha Mathis (Who is used so little she may as well not be there), Pam Grier and Natalie Alyn Lind who keeps popping up in everything I watch and she's always a joy to watch.

Verdict

Bloodlines tells the story that Jud Crandall told in the original Pet Semetary, so you already know how it ends. Not sure it's a tale that needed putting to screen but they make the most of it.

Though loaded with veterans most of the younger cast are really quite poor, combine that with very bland writing and it makes for a very underwhelming watch!

Pet Semetary hasn't exactly been the best series, sure the original was amazing but with a forgettable sequel and an awful remake I wasn't exactly excited to see this pop up. However I'll give it this, it's better than the trailer makes it out to be.

It's a middle of the road movie with enough going for it to keep you drowning in its glaring flaws.

Rants

Now we've seen Jud's story sadly it makes his likelihood to show someone the semetary even less likely. Why would he do it? What motivation would he have being that he lived through these horrors and ultimately as per the original movie caused his ultimately demise.

Breakdown

Solid veteran cast Natalie Alyn Lind is great Just about enough King charm Mostly poor young cast You know what's going to happen Rather bland in places.

I approached this movie with some trepidation. Being a life long Stephen King fan, his movies had suffered badly from appalling, cash in sequels. A Return To Salem's Lot is a classic example.

But taken on it's own merits, I actually enjoyed this. It was generally well acted, the story was interesting, if not original. I disagree that the characters were unlikeable, I found my self really rooting for the people. I liked the pace that the story unfolded, revealing the history and background in satisfying doses. Also, it did not focus on the "Semetary" too much. Although building on the Pet Sematary mythos, it does stand as separate to the main franchise. SO if you view it with this in mind, I think you will enjoy.

Quick review: I had really hoped I was going to enjoy 'Pet Sematary: Bloodlines', however very early on in the film I knew I was going to struggle with it. The reason? I could not find a single character who was likeable or charismatic enough to care about. Without that being there it is so hard to stay invested and care about the outcome of the film.

There are a lot of cheap jump-scares in this film. People and trucks just appear out of nowhere and we get a loud jolt of music with them. Otherwise though, the film really doesn't have a way to scare you. I was a bit let down by this one. I didn't expect a masterpiece, but I expected more than we got. 4/10.

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (2023)

Henry Thomas, David Duchovny, Samantha Mathis, Pam Grier... What a waste of a good cast. Jackson White was also good as a young Jud, kind of reminded me of a young Matt Dillon.

But none of them can save this prequel. It adds almost nothing to the original story and it just drags slowly and aimlessly. It tells the story of Timmy, who came back from the war - the story Jud tells briefly in the original movie - but everything seems to be a bit off and it's pretty pointless.

Better watch the original classic or even the remake which actually wasn't bad.

4/10 Skip it.

This is the weirdest directing I've ever seen in a movie, special mention to the editing part that made everything even more confusing and boring.

Basic TV movies are more entertaining than this and... based on Stephen King's amazing novel? How can someone ruin a beautiful horror story like this?

There were about 20 minutes left and all I could think was "what in the H am I watching?!".

This to be avoided, just know there is no "horror" in this movie and no direction whatsoever. Feels like someone had the money to play "let's direct a movie and then go eat pizza because I don't even care..."