Sharkula

I cooked chicken mid way through and still got everything story had to offer. Beer battered chicken with salt and hit sauce - but not as hot as the production quality. The CGI was a little ropey but the camera work and editing was second to none. Liked the GTA San Andreas graphics they went for, makes everything pop like my ear drums when you have to turn it up for the quiet parts and then get blasted buy Dracula's beautiful voice. Couldn't finish my chicken in the end.

No pun intended - and I reckon only works if you are aware of the song. A classic - the movie right here not even close to a classic. Now of course we can talk about all the things that do not work here (effects, acting, script and so many more things) ... but if you are one of the people who do not mind ... or rather relish in the mayhem presented here .. any objectivity here is out the window.

So if you can just sit back and laugh at the ... well low brow? I am not sure if I can describe it any better - but the movie that has name checks (yes Renfield is in this too) ... but it is the actors that really sink this ... well if you can call them actors that is. So many things wrong with that ... well now you know ... and hopefully make an informed decision ... better not watch.

You know who these people are that give these films a 10/10 rating? I kept cringing from the moment the film began. How on earth can you call these production films? There are so many talented film makers out there who are struggling to get money, to produce quality films and out comes this garbage! The story line / plot was not thought about, the actors not believable - in fact they were terrible and embarrassing and the special effects? Laughable. The whole film is laughable and if someone calls this a a great film (a masterpiece in the making), they have no idea what film making is all about.

I'm not even sure where to start. I've seen bad movies before, and I've acted on stage with poor actors, but this movie has both in spades.

I think most of it was literally shot on somebody's tracphone. The refresh rate gives about half the film a feel of slow motion that can make you queasy just watching it. The actors (bless them) are trying but it's pretty easy to see that they're amateurs of the first kind working with a script that needs a lot of help. Nobody seems to really show any emotion in their roles, they just read the lines. The guy that plays Renfield kind of reminds me of somebody imitating John Lovitz but I was distracted by and had to laugh at his eyes moving back and forth as he read from his cue cards. Every 10 minutes or so the film cuts to a character (somebody's girlfriend maybe?) of a woman standing on a beach twirling some things with lights. No idea what that's all about? It's about the only parts of the film shot with a passable camera.

The set is someone's poorly lit house and unfinished basement, and special effects are limited to a rubber shark head, a rubber bat, and some stuff done on somebody's laptop. They really should name their company Amateur Studios, because this is the kind of stuff you see from a High School drama class.

I give it one and a half stars because (although it is really bad) these guys are trying and you have to start somewhere.

Was this recorded on an iPhone 6?

Quite possibly one of the worst films I've seen, its right up there alongside Dinosaur Hotel and i didn't think that could be beaten.