Sharks of the Corn

From what I saw. It's not Sharknado. It's not so bad it's good. It's not good tongue in cheek, It's someone with a video camera, who simply decided to......I'm sorry I just can't speak anymore.... I need to sit down. Videocameras, editors, and viewers were harmed in the making of this. I think of the poor editor who had to sit for hours and hours on end and likely had to go alone to a bar and drown his sorrows. That's who I'm sad for. Think of him ladies and gentlemen. Think of this poor poor man who had to edit this.

Look I welcome the ridiculous. Shark in a cornfield could be silly fun. But it wasn't even silly, nor fun.

Generally speak, I like Shark movies. It's really a stretch to call this a shark movie.

Everything about this was bad. Bad acting, bad cinematography, bad dialog, bad... no, not just bad but HORRIBLE "special effects".

I've had bouts of explosive diarrhea that were more enjoyable than this movie.

To be fair, I only got about 10 minutes in and pulled the plug. Maybe it's like the Wizard of Oz where the first part of the film is black and white and then transforms into a mind-blowing full-color experience only in this case, the movie starts horribly bad and then pivots unexpectedly into a cinematic masterpiece.

I mean, I highly doubt it, but it's always possible. I'll have to spin it up again and forward to the end.

Just off the top of my head, a 2 year pandemic, a huge number of deaths from covid, not to mention lasting health effects world-wide, fires ravaging many parts of the world including wiping out large areas of Australia and California, building collapses, storming of the capital by some delusional cult members, a building collapse in Florida, bridges collapsing, insane temperatures being reached in the North-West, increased violence in the already-violent U. S., mass shootings, civil unreast, continued tensions between police and minorities, businesses facing bankruptcy... but the worst thing to come out of 2021 is this atrocity of a movie. The only way they could have sold investors and producers on this is that they claimed they were going to make the worst movie in history. I'm not saying it IS the worst movie in history because when things get this bad, it's hard to discern one cellulloid abortion from another. But it's REALLY bad. You can tell by watching 20 seconds of the trailer. You can tell just by the name of the movie. Do NOT watch this movie because it only encourages the people who wrote it, diected it, starred in it, to continue. Everyone involved in this production should be banned from working in any form of entertainment. Garbage like this should not get made. It's a waste of resources. I take great offense that any kind of natural resources went into making something so utterly pointless.

You want the quality of movies to get better? Don't support this. There is no reason that movies this bad can still get made.

I'm a big Tim Ritter from back in the day. This movie is about a half hour long, has far too many characters, and lots of pacing issues. I liked the cheesy stuff and silly vibe but it is overwhelmingly boring.

I LOVE bad movies. It's why I came to it with a name like Sharks of the Corn and sat with giggly glee at the fake shark going through the corn field in the beginning. What it's lacking though is a poke fun at itself. No humor really. They tried too hard to get the audience soon on with the immediate nudity of chunky girls and slashing with chunky ketchup blood.

The camera work is bad, as it should be, however, I think a middle schooler with a smart phone and social media filters could make it better (as we see on TikTok). For example, they bludgeon a guy, but we miss the hit and see their torso down with a ground shot. Head space isn't considered in any shot either.

I stuck with it because of curiosity of how bad could it get. Was it a waste of time? Maybe. Would I watch it again? Na. Will I talk about it after? Oh yeah!!