House of Bones

Most of this has been done before; this movie is just another sorting of the various elements. Psychic character, house is an entity itself, paranormal investigators, TV show fantasy gets a dose of what it's been mocking, one character turns into a nutty zombie, etc. But still, this SyFy original really isn't bad.

Events are paced well, and things are revealed in a measured logical manner that maintains interest and fuels the action. The film is just graphic enough to be scary, without the over the top gratuitous blood bath gross-out approach. Somebody actually took time to develop a plot, and the acting is surprisingly decent. Characters are intentionally written as obnoxious, so you never really care gets eliminated. This allows the film to focus more on some innovative ways to knock people off. And you'll need a score card to keep track of the body count.

Not groundbreaking; it's fast-food horror, and you'll likely forget about the movie within two hours or so after viewing. But it's still entertaining enough to get a thumbs up.

House of Bones isn't terrible. That might usually be the best thing I can say about it, but the writers and director do deserve a little credit. The direction is competent and the cinematography is actually impressive for a straight-to-TV feature (meaning it doesn't look like crap or made rushed or hyper-stylized or tinted or whatever). And the script has a few legitimately funny lines of dialog between the baffled crew members on the reality TV show about to film an episode on a haunted-HUNGRY house (must emphasize hungry as it needs to eat). And when it comes time to get to the gore and effects and some of the usual lot of chincy CGI, it's not half-bad. And yet the script does falter when it comes time to really get to internal logic, or to explaining things in exposition, or bringing on the stereotypical a-hole TV show host who comes in the last third of the movie for a lot of useless yammering until his fate comes clear.

But most depressing of all is seeing Charisma Carpenter here. She's never been a Shakespearean thespian or anything, but she's never needed to be. Featured on Buffy and Angel for many of their best seasons, she's always been a solid actress for those and other shows. But here she looks kind of bored and almost a little sad to be having the dubious pleasure of starring in a straight-to-SyFy channel movie. While her fate isn't quite as abysmal as her co-stars on those shows (Amber Benson in Gryphon and Nicholas Brendon in Fire Serpent), it's no great shakes for her character, a psychic and ghost-talker of some kind who should be leaving the house the moment she starts coughing up blood, but stays on for the good (or bad) of those around her in this crazy old piece of property. She doesn't bring the film down, but it's hard for her to do anything to bring up the standard at best so-so at worst stupid and laughable piece of horror drek before her.

This is an interesting take on the haunted house motif. Here the house "lives" off the bodies of its victims. Unfortunately this house doesn't take many victims on its own and when it does, its doesn't do as much as it could with them. For example, when a couple of bodies are disposed of within the house, there's an off-screen crunching sound and signs that the house is growing stronger from the nourishment, but these scenes are not that creepy.

Also there are a couple of scenes that are entirely pointless and make little sense overall including a black shadow that roams around in a couple of scenes and tries to look scary but ultimately doesn't do anything.

The film does excel in showing how the house distracts and separates the group even after the protagonists tell themselves not to split up when searching the house. Also, I'm glad to finally see a movie that realizes that eye trauma does not necessarily equate to death.

A couple of lame jump scares aside, this film produces a creepy atmosphere similar to what Rose Red created, but not quite as intense as 1408. Its far from bad, but it could have been a lot better.

TV ghost hunters investigate a haunted house, but unlike their previous episodes this one is for real. A former plantation home, the house is alive and has a taste for human blood! Well for a start this thankfully didn't jump on the paranormal activity found footage bandwagon, a very popular - and often annoying - sub genre at the time. Made for TV this movie is at times cheesy and a bit cheap looking, but it does also manage a few decent scares and has some good gore scenes. The acting was OK but the ending wasn't very convincing. Overall this film was an adequate watch, I have sat through many far worse ghost movies than this. Worth 86 minutes if your time.

While not actually scary, House of Bones does succeed in giving the audience the impression the house is haunted. I've seen haunted house films before where it wasn't convincing that people couldn't just leave.

Even compared to other films syfy commissioned, the cast's pretty small and there aren't many throwaway characters introduced for body count purposes. The pacing is pretty good actually as one character is taken by the house early leaving the others first confused and later unwilling to leave (assuming the house would even let them).

Incidentally there's also less use of CGI than most syfy-commissioned films. The only real problem with "House of Bones" is its anti-climatic ending.