The Expendables

So I guess with any film review - it's all about the answers to the important questions. So let's get them out of the way first shall we?

Q) Is the plot descent, with a substantial storyline including dramatic arcs, twists and/or turns?

A) Not particularly.

Q) Are there character arcs and meaningful character developments?

A) A little.

Q) Is there romance?

A) Next question, please.

Q) Is the overall film original?

A) Not at all.

Q) Is it a likely Oscar nomination contender?

A) Hell no!

Q) Is it still awesome?

A) HELL YES!!!!!

Critics should be banned from reviewing films such as these. Anyone with half a brain can tell exactly what kind of film this is and what they're in for purely by the film's trailer alone.

This is a film made for action movie fans and not just regular action movies - I mean REAL action films in the style of the classic 80's action movies where plot and substantial character developments and dialogue took a backseat to intense over-the-top violence, explosions, car chases, sex scenes and catchy, memorable one liners!

The 80's action hero (and villain) breed was a rare phenomenon which will likely die with those very actors who gave them life. No 90's or new millennium "action" movie star will ever come close to being anywhere near as genuinely tough and just plain bad-arse as their 80's predecessor's! Even now with the main 'Expendables' cast pushing 60 +, you know that they would snap Matt Damon's spine in 2 with one hand tied behind their backs!

The 'Expendables' cast consists of Sly Stallone as the fearless leader of the team, Jason (Basketball stabber) Statham as the trusty knife-throwing sidekick, Dolph Lundgren as the treacherous giant one, Jet-Li as the small one, Terry Chews as Wesley Snipes, Mickey Rourke as the tattoo/previous knife-throwing sidekick and Randy Couter as the "who the hell is this guy, oh he's a UFC fighter" guy.

I still can't believe the unbelievable shape these guys are in! They're giants (exception for Jet-li of course).

Still, despite it's 80's throw-back appeal - the film isn't all action. Believe it or not there are slow parts. Mostly unnecessary filler between the action scenes. However the third act of the film makes up for the lack of action and then some!

It's when this third act commences when the true action film we've been waiting to see kicks in and steps up several notches to become the manliest most testosterone-fueled film since the last 'Rambo'!

It's funny, it's loud, it's un-relentlessly violent, an action-packed no-brainer of a film! An 80's action movie fan's wet-dream!!!

Bring on the sequel/s and bring on Jean-Claude Van Damme so he can give Statham the butt-kicking he so desperately deserves!!!

If you aren't sure what to expect going into this think Rambo, only there are five Rambos instead of just one, and two of them know karate.

If you do have high expectations going in (as I did), you will start to wonder if perhaps this movie isn't going to be what you were expecting as you watch it. The first hour gives you the two 'big' cameos, which weren't worth the hype (or any hype for that matter), and an out of place Mickey Rourke emotional moment but not much else.

The real payoff comes in the last half hour or so of the movie which is a beautiful symphony of mindless violence, and more than makes up for the beginning.

Overall the movie seemed a little rushed as far as the story goes and I won't be surprised to see a extended cut when this comes out on DVD but it is a solid action movie and worth the watch. And hats off to Randy Couture who actually steals the movie a little bit during the big action scene at the end.

A novelty film, the novelty being seeing all of these great action stars together in one big action film. Unfortunately, most of them are past their prime, and it's hard to share the spotlight. The action is great, but it just isn't enough to carry the film this time. The characters and plot just aren't developed enough.

Watching this movie was a great experience for an 80's movie buff like me. Its like the advertisement for it says, it has everyone! It says a lot for Sylvester Stallone's toughness that he can still play a tough guy part when he is one year from collecting Social Security. It really tickled me seeing the cameos by Bruce Willis and "The Governator". Its sort of an inside joke, he and Stallone have always had a friendly rivalry. Mickey Rourke really steals the show in his few scenes as a former mercenary turned tattoo artist. He delivers a rambling speech at one point about losing your soul that is really oddly moving in a way. Director Stallone has the camera dwell on his battered features as he delivers it. The awesome special effects, loud explosions and familiar faces sort of blur the fact that the plot from this movie could have easily been an old A Team episode. There really isn't much of one. But who am I to quibble? This movie is a great way to round out the summer.

A typical action movie that checks all of the action movie boxes. Lots of explosions, shootings, killings and unrealistic fight scenes.

It's great to see all of the dinosaurs from the 80's team up with each other. Stallone looked convincing as the main guy but it's the youth of Jason Statham that delivers the adrenalin in this movie. I would've liked to have seen more from Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Their roles were far too short for the amount of action experience they have. Steve Austin is the only person that was miscast. Personally, I think that this movie would have been better without him.

I got what I expected and if you like action movies...you will definitely like "The Expendables".