Dancing Ninja

Well, at least this 2010 movie "Dancing Ninja" from writer Mitchell Klebanoff was as bad as I had expected it to be. But still, it had David Hasselhoff in it, so I figured I would give it a go.

This movie's storyline felt like it was written by a 10 year old and aimed at an audience of 10 year olds. It was pretty laughable and simplistic, to be brutally honest. So it was a bit difficult to take the movie serious.

And it was a bit hard to fully grasp what went through the minds of directors Mitchell Klebanoff and Kelly Sandefur as they sat down to work collectively on "Dancing Ninja".

Sure, the acting in the movie was adequate, just a shame that the actors and actresses had so very little to work with in terms of a properly entertaining script and storyline.

Ultimately then "Dancing Ninja" is not a movie that you are missing out on if you opt to skip it. And as for it being a ninja movie, nope. Don't even bother with it, as there are no ninjas here. Just a bunch of young people doing karate, and then David Hasselhoff doing something pseudo-karate-like.

My rating of "Dancing Ninja" lands on a three out of ten stars.

The acting is terrible (aside from Steven Seagal's hair, which subs in for The Hoff's hair, which is probably hanging out with KITT), the dialogue is terrible, the action is terrible. However, throw it all together with whatever secret ingredient there is in this movie, and you have the perfect terrible cheesefest movie to laugh along with, and at.

You DEFINITELY need to go into this with a sense of humour, but it can be enjoyed, it's just so much fun!

It's out with the old and in with the new Goodbye clouds of gray, hello skies of blue A dip in the pool, a trip to the spa Endless days in my chaise, the whole world according to moi (Excuse me? Thank you)

Iced tea imported from England Lifeguards imported from Spain Towels imported from Turkey And turkey imported from Maine

We're gonna relax and renew You go do!

I want fabulous, that is my simple request All things fabulous, bigger and better and best I need something inspiring to help me get along I need a little fabulous, is that so wrong?

Fetch me my Jimmy Choo flip-flops Where is my pink Prada tote? I need my Tiffany hairband And then I can go for a float

Summer like never before! I want more!

She wants fabulous, that is her simple request All things fabulous, bigger and better and best She needs something inspiring to help her get along She needs a little fabulous, is that so wrong?

Fabulous pool (ew), fabulous splash (read my lips) Fabulous parties, even fabulous trash Fabulous fashion (no!), fabulous bling (yeah) She's got to have fabulous everything

Nothing to discuss Everything's got to be perfect For me!

She wants fabulous, that is her simple request All things fabulous, bigger and better and best She needs something inspiring to help her get along She needs a little fabulous, is that so wrong?

This won't do, that's a bore That's insulting, I need more I need, I need, I need, I need I need, I need, I need fabulous (I want fabulous, bring me fabulous) Fabulous hair, fabulous style Fabulous eyes and that fabulous smile Oh, I like what I see, I like it a lot

Is this absolutely fabulous? Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous?

Absolutely... not!

Ok so if you are going into this movie expecting a ninja movie, boy did you not watch the trailer or even read anything about it. However if you go into it expecting to see a lot of cheese, sexual innuendos, and many over the top lame jokes with some action you may just enjoy this.

Honestly, it is worth a watch. It will take you back to the parody movies of the 90's and early 2000's in that it really smacks at the action stars of the 80s and 90s. The story is ridiculous but funny enough that i did laugh quite a bit. This is not a movie to plan to watch if you are sober or have any common sense but if you have nothing to do, your date skipped out on you, John Cena becomes WWE champion again, or nothing left to lose... ehh... then give it a watch.

Although Dancing Ninja has some amusing moments ultimately it fails to make the grade. I don't think young Lucas Grabeel has a future in martial arts films.

Grabeel is a young man who was washed up from a shipwreck as a toddler and was raised by Asian parents in some unnamed Asian land. Trying to find out his origins he travels to America where people who look like him predominate as he is sure his destiny is there.

Part of his destiny is that he is convinced he is the prophesied Dancing Ninja who was said to be from a foreign land and Occidental.

What laughs there are in this film come from David Hasselhoff who's having a great old time spoofing Steven Segall. Wonder if Hasselhoff will run for governor of some state. Not like some action star hasn't run for governor before.