River

Hey, this is River speaking. I'm an owl now. Hoot hoot.

Where do I start? I first watched the film and was really disappointed. Weird acting. Horrible dialogues and almost no plot. It was really hard to stick to it, because it was just super boring. Then I did some research and found interviews and even a making of. They all seem nice somehow and maybe even tried to make something here. But it lacks on all ends. I mean honestly. I had a little sympathy, but it is also really pathetic to make a making of about yourself and a film, that nobody cares about and nobody heard anything about anyone in the film yet. You can make that maybe if the film itself is a success. Then I also realized that the writer, director, producer and camera person is one person. And it seems to be somehow a personal project. Emily Skye had a troubled relationship and so on. And River in the film is, quote : something special. WTF.. sounds like major ego issues. What even happened to her? I hated the music. I don't mean the sound, but the cringy spring break music. While watching I was also asking myself why the mother of river acts so super weird. Who cuts a cucumber like that and looks like a lunatic. And why is she talking so weird. Then I read she is deaf for many years already. Respect for that, but why would I choose someone like that, when she just sounds so weird and is has nothing to do with the story? It is just irritating. I give 2 out of 10 for the effort though. But it's definitely a film to skip. You could literally make a better film with an iphone.

Some may think 1 out of 10 is a bit hard, but think about all the films in the world. I don't even know if there is any film I'd give 10. I'd give Alien a strong 9 and this is a real masterpiece. I'd give 9 for apocalypse now and 8 for shining. 1 for this is even too much. There is almost no story arch at all. It repeats itself all the time, the characters are flat and the writing is... I don't even know... just not good. No suspense.. no conclusion or anything in the end. As if she took the short and just threw a few characters in. You could cut out that bearded guy entirely and it wouldn't change a damn thing. I suggest to read a few books.

Terrible film there is absolutely nothing in it i fell sorry for the people involved horrible writing no plot structure also fun to see the fake ratings 10 our of 10 lol go back to 101 screenwriting annoying characters cheap music huge cringe factor.

Plot holes all over the place. Badly written characters and dialogues. Implausible in general. No thrills or suspense at all. The worst beyond belief episode is the citizen kane compared to this bag of rotten potatoes. I never felt so bad spending time on watching a film. Missed it's target by far.