Spy Daddy

CIA super agent Bob Ho (Jackie Chan) has been dating Gillian (Amber Valletta) for three months. Her kids Farren (Madeline Carroll) and Ian (Will Shadley) hate him. Little Nora (Alina Foley) thinks that he's a cyborg. He is retiring for Gillian but she doesn't know his secret life. Glaze (George Lopez) is his handler and Colton James (Billy Ray Cyrus) is a fellow agent. His Russian nemesis Anton Poldark escapes from capture. While the kids snoop around in his house, Ian downloads a file from his secret computer. Poldark tracks it down and comes after Bob and the kids.

There is absolutely no chemistry between Jackie Chan and Amber Valletta. The kids have better chemistry with him. Maybe they could have made up a story about him being a secret nanny instead. That's where the comedy is anyways with him as Mr. Mom. The movie almost works with him and the kids. Many comedians have mined that rich vain and Jackie could easily do that too. Also I don't know why he has to wear those glasses. It's not like he's Superman and this is his secret identity. The rest of the movie is a bunch of unfunny cartoon characters. It still has Jackie Chan doing his acrobatic fights. That's impressive at his age. With a few changes, this could have been a passable kids movie.

I'm not about to contradict anyone who says that 'The Spy Next Door' is a bad movie but I cannot say that I didn't enjoy it. From the moment that Bob and Gillian wake up with those serene smiles on their faces (Gillian had been woken up by a squealing pig and screeching kids) you know what you're in for and the movie certainly doesn't disappoint, in that it does exactly what you expect and follows every cliché there is religiously. For me this is what actually allowed me to enjoy it, the movie seemed to tell me, 'I am a bad movie, don't try to take me seriously just laugh at every possible opportunity! I promise you I'm not harmful and I will be over before the stupidity gets the better of your suspended disbelief.'

The film rests on Jackie Chan's shoulders and there's no denying that he is a very charismatic man, very good with physical comedy and at 55 and after all those injuries, still impressively fit. I can't say the same for the kids, the youngest one (Alina Foley) is cute but the other two were a bit annoying although this may be the script's fault. What can I say about the villains; Creel wore red lipstick and black from head to toe and just in case we missed she was the villain she also wore a frozen sardonic smile too, the Russian guys wore heavy overcoats and beards and all of them spoke in this hilarious accent...I enjoyed every bit of it. In fact I think the parts with the villains were my favourite.

I think the movie did what it set out to do and entertained me, I actually burst out laughing many times. One of which was when Billy Ray Cyrus's faced popped onto the screen, don't judge me I didn't know he was in the movie and the image took me by surprise!

There is something strange and irrational about the human psyche that draws us to films that we know are absurd and bad, but in spite of the glaring flaws of such films we get drawn in anyway because the experience is pleasurable. One of those films is "The Spy Next Door." It was obvious to me that "The Spy Next Door" had almost nothing to offer its audience in terms of a plot or even characters that could transcend their stereotypes. These stereotypes include (1) All Russians are evil; (2) the female love interest always finds an implausible reason for dumping Bob Ho (Jackie Chan)before she later reconciles with him; (3) If you want to gain the respect of bullies, you have to beat someone up - preferably an evil Russian who is storming throughout your house looking for a secret formula; (4) If you have Jackie Chan in your film, give him lots of choreographed karate or agile tricks to do; and (5) If you want to win over kids who are not your own, you better be a great action hero. I also realized that this film was trying to get by on Jackie Chan's personality and the characters of the kids.

Yet I did not care because up to a point reliance on the Jackie Chan persona, which this film was clearly doing, actually worked. The reason is that Jackie Chan is a good natured guy, very modest and very nice. It is to an extent amusing watching Chan perform his tricks as he copes with babysitting and then takes on the bad guys. The action scenes were, in my mind, not like the ordinary, overly violent action scenes where the good guy shoots up a bunch of bad guys. They are dance routines, some of them plain silly and others that are pretty good - and you get the impression that even if you are a bad guy you are unlikely to get badly hurt. Jackie Chan himself has often said that he abhors violence and his Bob Ho character is not a violent man. He gets involved in action scenes reluctantly and, even as he wins his little battles, one gets the impression that they were all a lot of fun. Now this is not to say that I can guarantee that you, my readers, are going to like this film. You may dislike it for many sound reasons, but for me "The Spy Next Door" is one of my guilty favorites.

This film is about an spy trying to quit his job to become a regular guy in order to marry a woman of his dreams, but trouble will not leave him so easily.

"The Spy Next Door" is a great film for kids and adults. It has a lot of action, but in a comical way that does not feel too violent. I don't even recall seeing blood in any scenes. It has messages about love and family, which is actually touching. The plot may be formulaic, that you know what will happen in the whole film just after watching twenty minutes, but it is still enjoyable and fun. It's a nice piece of entertainment into fun and laughter.

OK, where story is concerned, there's nothing new here. Chan plays a spy on the verge of retirement because he wants to settle down with his girlfriend Gillian (Amber Valetta) and her annoying kids. Now the kids hate Chan and Gillian has to leave for a couple of days in order to spend some time with her ailing father. So who offers to look after the kids? It's not hard to see how clichéd the story is but it is Jackie Chan with his creative stunts who makes this a fun watch. The actor's flair for comedy has become common knowledge and he is as energetic as ever. Moreover, his pairing with the beautiful Valetta is refreshing. Valetta doesn't get much to do other than play the usual girlfriend/divorcée/mom of three but she holds her own. The rest of the cast is forgettable. The child actors are initially very annoying. They sort of grow on you as the film proceeds. Overall, the film is nothing out of the ordinary. It doesn't even compare to a majority Chan's superior works but at best it's an amusing one-time watch.