Das Vermächtnis der Azteken

Filmed in Thompson-Nicola Region, British Columbia, Canada, this film is no ware near plausible. But it can be a lot of fun no one stays in the car or rather where they should be. Everyone sticks his/her nose in and gets it bit off. The dialog is lackluster, the graphics are pathetic. Yet it is fun to say "don't touch that", and "will they ever learn?"

It is the early 20th Century and we have horses, wagons, and whatnot. Dr. Samuel Jordon (Duncan Fraser) and his team of archeologists are being snacked on by an unseen force. Meanwhile back at the ranch or should I say dig, his daughter Susan (Shannen Doherty) is worried and decides to look for her father at the location where he was last seen in the Grand Canyon. She takes along the standard character set of friends; clumsy, gutsy, sneaky, and mysterious. Will the team find Dr. Jordon in time or will they also be dispatched in the underground labyrinth overlooked by, you guessed it Quetzalcoatl, the feathered serpent. And is there time enough for love?

In case you ever wonder if Canadian content laws for television are a good thing or not, a look at "The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon" should give you a really big clue. Although officially made for the American Sci- Fi Network, Canadian movies like this are also used to be played endlessly on Canadian networks simply because there's nothing better available. To call this movie cheap would be a complement. Although filmed in semi- desert areas of British Columbia, it still looks NOTHING like the Grand Canyon in the United States. The rest of the look of the movie is even more tacky, with minimal (and cheap-looking) props, sets, and CGI effects. But the worst thing about the movie is its tone. It's utterly joyless, lacking awe when we should be amazed, instead giving off a depressing feel for the majority of the running time. Nobody connected with this movie seems to be trying, so you shouldn't be trying to track down the movie on TV or in your local video store.

I'm not even sure if this was a SciFi Channel production or not; if not, it certainly had all the hallmarks of one. Silly storyline, poor CGI, large plot holes, etc, etc, etc.

I won't reveal anything about the plot - not that it would matter really, the same story has been done many times. Lost scientist, searchers, treasure, ancient god, ignorant tribe of lost natives, et al. This time it takes place, miraculously enough, in the Grand Canyon, in some area that has never, ever been seen before by white men.

If you would care to spend two hours staring blankly at your TV while marveling at stultifyingly bad acting, this is the movie for you. You may be entertained during commercial breaks though. Also, Shannen Doherty is still somewhat recognizable, in a puffy kind of way.

I liked the idea of the story(though the film could've done with a much more imaginative title), but I was also dubious. Seeing The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon for myself, it was neither better or worse than I was expecting. As I said, there was a good idea which had potential to have a well-constructed, interesting story to go with it, but the things that don't make the film any worse than it turned out to be were some good scenery(though there is some cheap looking ones too), a decent if not great Shannon Doherty and some tense death scenes. On the other hand, the filming is too dark in places, and while not haphazard as once nothing in the camera work stands out much. The effects for Quetzalcoatl look terrible, and while not as bad the monster in appearance and how it moves is often too animated, but the worst assets were the hackneyed script, the utterly predictable and silly story that mixes Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider but with a complete lack of imagination or excitement and the stereotypical characters. Doherty aside, the acting is nothing to write home about, with Michael Shanks and JR Bourne both sleep-walking through their roles. All in all, unimaginative and dull, a sub-par movie at best. 3/10 Bethany Cox

The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon: 1 out of 10: Well I was two minutes into the film and my girlfriend jinxed us. “Hey you know this movie isn’t that bad”. I turned pale… real pale. You don’t tempt the Gods like that. Not with a made for Sci-fi Channel movie. Not when one where the lead is Shannen Doherty. The words barely left her mouth and a CGI puppet began sliming a Frat Boy in a diaper. The Horror…. The Horror. If I am going to start somewhere I have to start with the Frat Boys in diapers. The movie claims these are Aztecs still hidden in the Grand Canyon at the end of the 19th century. (I know I know) Apparently they have been hiding from the white man for many years. Not to mention the Havasupai and the Painte and the Pai and the tourists at the Upper Canyon Ranch and perhaps the boys in blue down at Ft. Mohave. Anyway this lost tribe of Aztecs, like some Japanese WW2 sniper still hiding in a palm tree in 1971, is hidden in the Grand Canyon. What seems stranger is that they consist almost entirely of a hereto thou undiscovered group of Aztecs whom look like white college football players wearing diapers (well more of a mawashi) and war paint. I am all in favor of multicultural casting but I can’t believe that it isn’t a little insensitive to portray Native Americans as well extras in a Fire Island movie. Hold on a second Fire Island Movie????… The men are all buff and practically naked. The two woman are wearing pants and done up in to look twice their age. The monster spews slime on the buff boys for no good reason. Oh God no it’s Jeepers Creepers 2 all over again. The homoerotic horror film strikes again. Now I’m not sure that the over the top homoeroticism is directors Farhad Mann’s doing (or even intentional), but Mann is responsible for both Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace as well as Return to Two Moon Junction so with a track record like I am prepared to blame him for a Swine Flu outbreak let alone this film. So what else went wrong? Well the Quetzalcoatl design is all wrong (he looks like a puppet) and his CGI is bad by even the very low Sci-fi Channel standards. The sets look like Kirk and Spock are going to beam down at any moment. Half the explorers are grossly overweight; an unlikely condition in the far west wilderness that far from a Wal-Mart. As noted above Shannen Doherty who isn’t even forty looks forty-five and Heather Doerksen who isn’t even thirty looks fifty. And they have a five minute flashback at the end that repeats the entire film. But let’s face it buff white frat boys in diapers getting slimed from off camera and pretending to be Indians. Yeah that is just all sorts of wrong.