Laid to Rest

"Laid to Rest" (2009), is a classic slasher film; facial deformity, mask, big knife, final girl, and all. People run, people hide, people die immediately after they have done something endearing or redeeming. Everyone tries to figure out who the killer is or why he is killing folks. Acting by Lena Kathren Headey (who later became famous as Cersei Lannisfer) largely carried the acting side of the film (think Jamie Lee Curtis in that other series). The kills were often essentially off-camera and there was not much gore (bar for the final kill). I could not really pick up on suspense building, but that is often par for the course for slasher films. In short, it was a pretty run of the mill slasher and gets a run of the mill.

That second star is for Stephen, who was the one character that made this monstrosity slightly bearable. Not that he's much of a character, but at least his particular brand of idiocy is the sort that draws a grudging smile out of a horror fan. He certainly has the best lines of anyone in the movie. A car in a horror flick that can only go forty miles an hour is a new one on me, and kind of funny.

Also mildly hilarious is the fact that the convenience store is clerked by a Justin Bieber look-alike.

Apart from that, there is absolutely nothing to see here. The gore gets points for being the right color, texture and coming with a minimum of stupid slurpy noises... it LOOKS better than average, but the killer and the director screw it up by not really seeming to understand how a knife is actually used. (But then, I like for the execution in excessive gore to make SENSE if at all possible--helps justify it. What can I say, I'm picky.) People who only care about the blood'n'guts bit will like it well enough.

The plot is virtually non-existent; the heroine, while not unlikeable, has no personality and is impossible to give a crap about; the acting is god-awful even by horror's already-low standards; the characters' decisions are stupid even by horror's already-low standards... and possibly worst of all, the final confrontation with the killer sickeningly reminds one of the one in "The House By The Cemetery."

Nasty... just nasty.

This is a okay slasher with a few gruesome deaths that are actually sort of creative. The movie doesn't even really have a plot, just tries to make a excuse for some blood and gore. I am usually forgiving when it comes to movies like this but the plot holes were just way too noticeable. And it never tells or shows why the killer does what he does, he just goes around filming everyone of his kills while wearing a chrome skull mask. It had a strong start though, it was actually pretty creepy but after the first scene it quickly ran out of it's flair. A young woman waking up inside of locked casket with no memory of who she is or how she got there is a unoriginal but cool concept, but after that first scene the suspense dies. I thought it would have a cool build up and a decent twist, but the twist was actually pretty stupid as well. You just end up wanting the chrome skull killer to kill everyone, cause like I said I am forgiving but the characters or victims are just too damn stupid. I guess it's worth a look though for major slasher fans or if your in a appetite for slaughter.

4.2/10

Let me get this out of the way. If you like gore please see (possibly buy) this movie. This movie has some of the best (practical?, if it was all CGI I couldn't tell except for a few scenes) gore effects in recent years. A kill in this movie is easily a front runner for kill of the year. The acting was okay, and fans of people under the stairs will be happy to see Roach getting some work in a horror flick. I think its pretty well shot. This leads me to the plot............oh the horror.

The writing in this movie is possibly the dumbest I have ever seen in my 15+ years of watching horror movies. The characters do so many stupid things that it actually hurts the movie...........I can't believe I am saying this. I can usually appreciate horror movies just for the gore but this plot was just too much. Stupid decisions topped by even more stupid decisions. There is a plot twist in the movie that is less of a twist than it is a fun fact. This was just awful, it was like one of those internet stories where dozens of users write it one individual page/paragraph at a time.

So in short, great gore, worst story ever. Myself and my buddies have watched the gore parts on this movie several times, but none of us can stomach the real horror, the plot.

What can I say? This movie delivered everything I wanted it to. Strong brutal killings/unique killings, cheesy acting, not half bad music, and decent atmosphere. I love watching horror movies that don't require any thinking, its as if you can almost take a nap through it and still know what happened. I feel that some of these movies that are released right to DVD actually deliver more than the ones that make it to the theatre. A lot of the time those movies are really watered down and get the pg-13, but with a straight to DVD you know they are not gong to cut back AT ALL. So all in all the movie was a fun watch and I highly recommend it to anyone who likes to have a really bloody fun watch on a Friday night.