Swallows and Amazons

It takes guts to remake a classic film. Unfortunately it takes talent too, and from the "writer" downwards the bunch behind this particular remake are sadly lacking in talent.

Honestly, it makes you wonder if they ever read the original stories. Sure, they're perhaps a little dated now, but I'm convinced it would have been possible to update them without ignoring everything that was good. They certainly did *not* need to rename poor old itty, or make the teenagers a bunch of inept yobs.

Ignore this, go watch the original 1974 version, then hunt out Sophie Neville's beautiful diaries of "The Making of Swallows and Amazons" (it's on Amazon) and let the love and respect for Arthur Ransome's work envelop you.

How sad that someone's sensitivities (who's?) were considered so important that Titania's original name was changed to 'Tatty' for this film. The character's name is Titty, and has been since 1930 - a very long time - and I consider that the producers should be ashamed of themselves for giving in on such an insignificant matter. Do they not know the expression 'to Roger someone'? Do they not know what a 'John' is in certain societies? Where does all this lunacy stop?

Perhaps the film lacks the intensity of modern, CGI, 'shoot 'em up' films, but the pleasure should lie in the bucolic idealism that Ransome illustrated in all his books. Oh, and the basics of how to sail, alongside other matters naval and historical. Fortunately interest in such activities remains high and will probably remain so for the next few centuries, unlike passing fads passed off as 'entertainment' but actually merely being another vehicle for profit.

...we're adding a whole new plot"

That's always a sign that a production is heading for disaster. If you think the book isn't exciting, don't use it; find some other material. If you think you don't have the ability to convey to an audience what you find exciting about it, find another career.

'Swallows and Amazons' works as a book - and still does, nearly 90 years after it was written - precisely because it is concerned only with the children and their doings. No adult POV is included to give us a perspective on the children's outlook, their emotions and imaginative world; we only see what matters to them and we see it with their eyes. This makes perfect sense to children, and it takes adults back to our own childhood when we too found our own fantasy games far more important and meaningful than anything adults did. I couldn't see how a subplot about 'real' 1930s Soviet spies could possibly be introduced into the plot without making the children's pirate adventures and sea battles seem suddenly trivial and, well, childish.

And sadly, that's exactly what happens. Philippa Lowthorpe works hard to create a sense of danger and excitement in the childhood adventure of unaccompanied sailing, and camping on an island, and very nice too. But the effort is pointless when you throw in real gun-toting nasties kidnapping people and chasing them along trains; that just makes the children's 'pirate wars' fantasy look piffling and tiresome.

A real pity. You wonder why they bothered, and why anybody didn't advise them not to.

British TV movie and mini series director Philippa Lowthorpe, films an adaptation of Arthur Ransome's popular children's book series 'Swallows and Amazons' set on a fictional lake but inspired on the Lake District and the Norfolk Boards. Admittedly, I haven't read the novels so it's hard for me to comment on the adaptation but it's a cute children's adventure with bravery, drama and some sibling rivalry.

We follow a cast of young unknowns, the Walkers, which are similar to the children from Narnia or the Famous Five; typically British for that era going camping, fishing and sailing that brought me back to my childhood of secret base building and wading in the local stream looking for sticklebacks.

The names we should recognise are Kelly Macdonald and Rafe Spall, with an up and coming Andrew Scott. Kelly playing the encouraging, free-spirited mother and Rafe playing a suspicious and mostly obnoxious character who's obviously got something to hide. But the kids steal the show, and rightly so, it's about them after all and they do a grand job especially the emotional and excitable Roger played by Bobby McCulloch. Have to mention Brit comedian Harry Enfield who plays Mr. Jackson which was a surprise to me but a delight in any case.

The scenery is lush and makes you proud of the British countryside which makes me wonder if people from the rest of the world see all this green and think "wow, that looks so beautiful." There's a great score from Ilan Eshkeri, (Stardust, The Young Victoria) that's enchanting and very fitting for the children's adventure adding dramatic effect and suspense.

It feels longer than the 97min running time and wavered slightly in the what felt like the middle of the story. I can imagine there was a lot of ground to cover and possibly a challenge to fit everything into the film, not that any part felt rush. It's well shot with some great camera work and is some light-hearted entertainment for the whole family, however it isn't a grand spectacle but then again I don't think it tries to be.

Running Time: 6 The Cast: 8 Performance: 7 Direction: 8 Story: 7 Script: 7 Creativity: 6 Soundtrack: 8 Job Description: 7 The Extra Bonus Points: 0

64% 6/10

The makers of this rather odd film don't seem to have been able to make up their minds whether they were doing Swallows and Amazons or The Thirty Nine Steps, and so have gone for a rather awkward blending of the two. Clearly they don't think that Ransome's gentle story of a boating holiday in the Lake District is exciting enough for modern audiences, and they may be right. So on the train on the way to the lake District we get Sinister Spies erupting into the Walker children's compartment (mother has gone outside for a smoke) and one of them (Uncle Jim no less) ends up climbing about on the outside of the train and jumping off. Uncle Jim is in fact the world's worst spy ever. He leaves secret papers and photos lying about in the cabin of his boat in plain view, and doesn't even bother to lock the door when he goes out. He does everything to draw attention to himself except wearing a hat with 'Spy' on it. There is still room for some boating and camping on the island, and when the film stick to what is actually in the book it isn't bad, but the spy stuff weighs the film down, and gets steadily more absurd as the film goes on, culminating in a scene of such joyous absurdity i was reduced to tears of laughter. As a film of Swallows and Amazons this is badly flawed, but is worth 5 out of 10 for making me laugh so much.