Arthur and Phil Go Off...

We've always called them Phil & Arthur, but I can see now that it should be Arthur & Phil. I blame the ambiguous credits. Anyway, whichever way round it is, laid-back Arthur and slightly-uptight Phil are both equally brilliant as they "go off" to investigate Loch Ness, Marbella and the M1 (yes, the motorway).

This pair have had a not insignificant impact on our family life over the last 35 years. We use their humour at every possible opportunity.

Our three video tapes are still going strong, but we've had to replace the machine multiple times.

We once took a major detour on a Scottish holiday just to check that the great bard Robert Southey was right to praise the beauty of the Falls of Foyers (he absolutely was). And yes, we did sing.

When climbing over a country stile we say "taking care not to kick companion in face". Or you can just keep quiet and actually kick them in the face. Either is guaranteed a laugh from a fellow fan.

You can sneak food from someone's plate and then blame some bloke who just came over.

Any conversation about evolution or the Big Bang eventually gets round to Glippy and Gloppy.

I can't hear the word "abbey" without saying "what Abbey National? Looks more like a toilet to me" in some sort of East London accent.

Any list that starts getting a bit too long will always have Thora Hird and Eric Bristow added.

Many times I have ordered a pint of dram, although it rarely gets the laugh it deserves.

Any offer of money will get the reply "Phil and Arthur gave me 50 quid".

Any talk of family ancestry leads to: "and his father before him and his father after him and his father the same time as him".

If somebody says that they've never done something, you ask them how many times they've done it.

As I make this list I'm starting to realise just what a goldmine of catchphrases they provided us with. Thanks lads!

Getting the family out of the car, you say "Is everybody out? Right, let's get back in".

We've played sports like golf using nothing but our imaginations (the standard of play quickly escalates to a hole in one, and then gets very silly).

We rewind real life to find out if someone did say what we think they said. It usually proves that they said the opposite.

I'm chuckling as I remeber all this stuff. And you must be a fellow fan if you're still reading.

We flick through a paperback book and then say "that was a good one".

Anyone reading out a holiday brochure will inevitably get to a bit about petrochemical exports.

Any reel of film is held up to the light and pulled gently down to watch.

Every hitchhiker is Ron Galaxy.

When somebody is repeating themself, we turn to an imaginary camera and say "Icarus Icarus Icarus".

Any discussion about energy suppliers leads to "British Gas is lovely".

They also did an equally funny trip to Boulogne. And there was an episode called something like "Phil & Arthur Go Off To Channel 4", but that only seems to exist in my distant memory.

Thanks again Phil & Arthur and Arthur & Phil for a lifetime of laughs!